Hi folks, it’s been a while since I posted, but I have been a silent reader all that time. Your wisdom and advice never fail to give me comfort
It’s been two years since my last LTR ended and it really feels like being single is the final chapter for me. I tried to date last year, and I did it with real commitment, going on lots of dates and playing the game. It wasn’t all bad, and I had fun with it, but ultimately, I found myself drained and empty, with nothing else to give. Especially after a relationship which showed great promise ended abruptly last November.
Weaning myself off dating has taken a while but I finally did it. I am standing on my own two feet, no longer seeking validation from another human being and trying to accept being alone, possibly for the duration, and find contentment in myself.
But boy it’s hard! I love the freedom, the sense of being in control, the limitless possibilities, and I certainly don’t miss the arguments, the compromises and the personality bending that being in a couple entails. But on an emotional level, something doesn’t feel quite right. I feel…awkward. I miss the companionship and intimacy and the feeling of being part of something bigger than just myself. But then I have to remind myself that being in a relationship is not necessary a synonym for all the above!
It really feels like I am stuck in a rut, not wanting to settle or risk yet another heartbreak but at the same time struggling to cope with this loneliness. I guess I just need to hear from you that this ambivalence of feeling is normal…and that it will settle eventually!
[This message edited by Karmafan at 2:54 PM, Sunday, July 24th]
Me 48 XWH Irrelevant D-day 23 Feb 163 amazing, resilient kids
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