Two years out and I still don't know for sure when the rug will be pulled out from under me again. It's hard living this way where I'm enjoying myself and all of a sudden, I remember what he was doing the whole time I knew him. Full double life from the start. It's hard to ever fully regain trust after that.
But it's also been amazing. He admitted fault immediately, never blamed me, started IC, group therapy, couples therapy; full transparency, never WANTS to go anywhere without me. He is grateful for every day we have together and shows it. We've started hobbies together that have made us really bond, gotten new friends, joined new clubs, celebrated the good times, stared lovingly at each other in public while everyone else is socializing because we know how hard we've fought to be here. He never fights with me over little things or grows impatient with me. He takes my side against his family now, which was a huge issue between us for a long time. He is the perfect father to our children.
I've read over and over that while infidelity is obviously never recommended, if survived, it could make your relationship so much stronger. We know each other now better than we could have ever imagined; every little thing, every private fear or deep dark secret or traumatizing event that we each never thought we would utter to another person, we know about each other. We are very connected.
R is hard, but so is D. Especially when it comes to raising a child. If you can forge a good, non-toxic relationship, a child growing up in a two-parent household is far better for them than growing up with the instability that D brings.
For me, at this point, I am cautiously optimistic.
[This message edited by Revenger at 5:22 PM, Thursday, July 28th]