Newest Member: trustingyou


Married to an SA
Many DDays after discovering many, many EAs/PAs Working on R

How often do positive reconciliation stories stay positive

I'm a few years post-DDay, and it's been an extremely long, hard journey, but my WH has done a complete about-face, taken full responsibility, is in IC and group therapy and we're in MC, has been NC with any of the many OW (serial cheater/SA from day one of our relationship and has never been faithful in any of his previous relationships), become a much better husband, father, business partner, person, etc. He owns his past feelings of entitlement and puts in the work every day. It seems things are going well and we are on track to reconcile completely and have a long, happy marriage. Right now, I believe he's my soul mate.

Then I come here looking for reinforcement. I read positive reconciliation stories from years ago, and I recognize our situation in many of the posts. I see the hopefulness that I currently feel, the comfort I currently feel, all the details that are very familiar to me. So I look to see if there's an update on each one. I can't tell you how disenfranchised I feel when I see that five, ten, fifteen years later, the H cheated again, left for a previous or new OW, or otherwise slipped back into being a jerk and instigated a D.

I know I'm looking for reasons for this to fail; I don't want to get blindsided again. I know I still have a wall up and issues I need to work through. I know there are probably many, many stories of reconciliation that last the next fifty years until the couple dies hand-in-hand Notebook-style, and I am only focused on the ones that don't.

I can google statistics for how often marriages survive after infidelity, but I just want to hear from this community--how often do positive reconciliation stories stay positive?

16 comments posted: Monday, September 5th, 2022

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