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 Beagle (original poster member #79560) posted at 3:31 AM on Wednesday, June 29th, 2022

So I was recently divorced. Officially June 10. The ex ww was a serial cheater and was already going on dates prior to our divorce from various dating sites. So I went on kind of like a date thing with a colleague. Drinks etc. we talked for hours and seemed to have good conversation. I felt guilty even on the way to the place because I felt guilty don’t know why. So at the end of the night we end up making out etc and it felt amazing. It was the first time I’ve kissed another woman passionately in 15 years. I felt like a school kid. I also felt kind of nervous prior to it etc. is this normal? I am middle aged at 47. We text on and off etc but never act as if anything happened at work. Is this causal dating? I know I’m making my life more complicated at this point but I really enjoyed myself.

Beagle

posts: 76   ·   registered: Nov. 3rd, 2021   ·   location: United States
id 8742432
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morningglory ( member #80236) posted at 4:04 AM on Wednesday, June 29th, 2022

It's generally assumed to be casual if you haven't talked about being exclusive. However, to be responsible you should now have either the "we're free to see other people" confirmation talk, or else the, "we're exclusive" confirmation talk at this point, since it's getting physical. You don't want her to be on a different page than you about this, regardless of which page you're on. Aside from potential emotional issues coming up on either side, you also want to know your potential exposure to STDs.

[This message edited by morningglory at 4:07 AM, Wednesday, June 29th]

posts: 454   ·   registered: Apr. 15th, 2022
id 8742438
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JanaGreen ( member #29341) posted at 5:49 PM on Thursday, June 30th, 2022

Are you wanting to go out with her again?

posts: 9498   ·   registered: Aug. 17th, 2010   ·   location: Southeast US
id 8742698
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countrydirt ( member #55758) posted at 3:34 PM on Sunday, July 3rd, 2022

The first times I dated post divorce I didn't know what to do at all. In fact, during the legal separation period, I spent so much time in a flat out panic when any lady would talk to me, let alone flirt. I did have one female friend that finally pushed me to become intimate and it blew me away. Since then, life has moved on and now 2 years after the end of the marriage I am having a great time. I tried the "casual" dating approach for a bit and enjoyed meeting new people and having some fun adventures. It turned out that one casual walking date and another casual hiking date with one particular lady has resulted in a really nice relationship that has been exclusive since October.

My advice, just take it day by day. It is fun to feel like a school kid and experience the thrill of meeting someone new and learning what the world is like as a single. You're in charge of yourself now!

3 adult sonsMarried 32 years. DDay1 - June 2016, DDay 2 - April 2017, Final DDay - May 2020. Divorced - January 2021

posts: 413   ·   registered: Oct. 25th, 2016   ·   location: Colorado
id 8743231
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The1stWife ( member #58832) posted at 7:11 PM on Sunday, July 3rd, 2022

Do you want to ask her out again?

Be careful about dating people you work with. If it doesn’t end well — it could be awkward.

[This message edited by The1stWife at 7:12 PM, Sunday, July 3rd]

Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled.

posts: 12307   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2017
id 8743253
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 Beagle (original poster member #79560) posted at 9:52 PM on Wednesday, July 6th, 2022

I may seek out another date. I think it’s more of a casual thing. Nothing serious at all. One is I don’t want anything serious.

Beagle

posts: 76   ·   registered: Nov. 3rd, 2021   ·   location: United States
id 8743588
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The1stWife ( member #58832) posted at 11:28 PM on Wednesday, July 6th, 2022

You may not be serious. But the other party may be hoping for something more.

Just be careful.

[This message edited by The1stWife at 11:37 PM, Wednesday, July 6th]

Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled.

posts: 12307   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2017
id 8743595
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Tallgirl ( member #64088) posted at 1:29 AM on Monday, August 8th, 2022

I agree with 1st wife, dating people at work may be risky. Also check your hr guidelines just in case.

you should not feel guilty in anyway.

Legally separated, one more step.

posts: 1966   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2018
id 8748637
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