SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Since I found you all 4 or 5 years ago, when I was reeling from learning that my SO was not at all who he’d led me to believe he was. And instead, he was a cheating asshole.

We worked through all that shit and we are still together, and we bought a house together a few years ago. It sounds silly to say that a man of his age had to grow up, but that’s exactly what he had to do if he wanted me to stay in his life. We still are not married. He has said many times over the years that he wants us to get married, I still have not agreed.

Even though we have created a life together, I have not forgotten all the horrible things he did while he was misleading me about who he really was. I’m pretty sure I will never forget any of that, even though I’ve moved past it. But I can honestly say that everything that has happened between us since that horrible time, has been on my terms and according to what I am willing to deal with in my relationship with him.

I no longer have the blind trust I initially had with him, the important thing is that I’ve learned to trust MYSELF regardless of what he or anyone else does. Meaning that I know I can be ok with or without him in my life. I was just fine before I ever met him, and I can be okay if I ever need to just forget about him.

My point in posting today is to encourage people that are going through it with their spouses and SO’s, to find their way to knowing that they can be okay without a partner that just won’t act right. Stand your ground about everything that is important to you, and if your spouse or SO refuses to respect you and your boundaries, know that you can be okay without them. If your situation is such that you depend on them to survive, work to change that. There is power in not "needing" a person to survive and be okay, especially when that person has shown you that you and the promises they’ve made to you are not their number 1 priority, like they should be.

I have empathy for anyone that has been served the kind of shit sandwiches we see on this site. And I want everyone that has had that experience to find a way to be ok and get to a better place, by any means necessary.

BRAVO !!!! Picture me CLAPPING...giving you a STANDING OVATION !!!

I often write...DON'T EVER SETTLE. YOU wrote it so much BETTER !!!

I am HAPPY to see that you have been able to move past the trauma your SO put you in . You have definitely come out STRONGER...and knowing that you will be OK either way is HUGE. Knowledge is POWER...and your post is very powerful!!!

Great post - lots of key points!!

'My point in posting today is to encourage people that are going through it with their spouses and SO’s, to find their way to knowing that they can be okay without a partner that just won’t act right. Stand your ground about everything that is important to you, and if your spouse or SO refuses to respect you and your boundaries, know that you can be okay without them. If your situation is such that you depend on them to survive, work to change that. There is power in not "needing" a person to survive and be okay, especially when that person has shown you that you and the promises they’ve made to you are not their number 1 priority, like they should be.'

Regain your own power, in whatever format you need and require!!

The plan to stay or go can be the same, be your best version, make sure you know where you actually stand and work out what your 'wants and needs are'.

Want2BeHappyAgain, thank you for your kind words!

EyesOpened50, YES!