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Divorce/Separation :
Dragging out the divorce process will not...

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 takethelongview (original poster member #44822) posted at 10:22 PM on Thursday, June 23rd, 2022

Dear STBXWW,

Dragging out the divorce proceedings for another year, now going on 5 years, will not work. If you are hoping I die on my motorcycle, it won't happen. I'm too skilled.

I am learning to abide.
Separation and divorce soon.
BS
DDay 2011

DD grown now
DD grown now
Reconciliation was a mirage

posts: 276   ·   registered: Sep. 9th, 2014   ·   location: NC
id 8741580
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66charger ( member #69471) posted at 11:31 PM on Thursday, June 23rd, 2022

Riding 2007 Harley Roadking with modified fairings. I could get killed everyday. If I die before my time, it will probably be on the 405.

Maybe you should double check your bike.

posts: 316   ·   registered: Jan. 17th, 2019
id 8741584
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fareast ( Guide #61555) posted at 12:02 AM on Friday, June 24th, 2022

So, your WW still won’t sign the separation agreement you offered to her as you posted in August, 2020? She keeps you in limbo and has made no move to proceed with divorce even though she moved out 4.5 years ago? Is staying in this limbo still financially advantageous?

Never bother with things in your rearview mirror. Your best days are on the road in front of you.

posts: 3176   ·   registered: Nov. 24th, 2017
id 8741589
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 takethelongview (original poster member #44822) posted at 2:10 PM on Friday, June 24th, 2022

She stalled three months IN TOTAL SILENCE with the agreement in her hand, that she agreed to sign. She told friends and neighbors that it was over, that she was going to sign. Word got back to me through those neighbors that she said she was going to sign and that it was over. Instead, and without a word, she quit collaborative divorce, got a new lawyer, filed for litigation and I was served.

Since we are litigating, and she knows my screen name here, I can't share details. Litigation may have always been inevitable, but I made the effort necessary to avoid it. For whatever reason, she backed away when the deal was done. And one of those reasons may well be that she is hoping for a series of unfortunate events to befall me.

Only time will tell.

I am learning to abide.
Separation and divorce soon.
BS
DDay 2011

DD grown now
DD grown now
Reconciliation was a mirage

posts: 276   ·   registered: Sep. 9th, 2014   ·   location: NC
id 8741655
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WhoTheBleep ( member #49504) posted at 2:39 PM on Friday, June 24th, 2022

Takethelongview, I was raised with a healthy fear of motorcycles. My father, a long time police officer, responded to numerous fatal motorcycle accidents. He said the accident was almost never the motorcyclist's fault. All the skill in the world will not protect you from drivers in vehicles who aren't paying attention. Please stay safe.

Going through a lengthy divorce myself, I empathize with you. Stay strong.

I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural

posts: 4404   ·   registered: Sep. 6th, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 8741686
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fareast ( Guide #61555) posted at 3:58 PM on Friday, June 24th, 2022

Very sorry to read this. Of course not surprised that she could not be trusted to follow through on her agreement. That’s her MO. Stay strong and follow your attorneys advice. Hoping for the best outcome possible for you.

Never bother with things in your rearview mirror. Your best days are on the road in front of you.

posts: 3176   ·   registered: Nov. 24th, 2017
id 8741778
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The1stWife ( member #58832) posted at 2:04 AM on Saturday, June 25th, 2022

Can you D pending the final agreement in assets and details like alimony?

Five years is a long time.

Sorry fir you.

Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled.

posts: 12171   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2017
id 8741868
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Bigger ( Attaché #8354) posted at 3:27 PM on Sunday, June 26th, 2022

A bit melodramatic and James Deanish thinking your wife has your demise planned to get your half of the home…

However… there are all sorts of things you can do to ensure that IF anything happens to you it’s not to her direct financial benefit. Like make sure you have the correct beneficiaries of your life-insurance, of your estate and so on. Possibly have a guardian to ensure your children’s rights if you were to crash into a signpost. Have an end-of-life statement and/or authority to decide medical treatment if you become incapacitated.
Look into what rights she still has to inheritance she might have while still married (even if divorced). A divorce becomes moot upon death per se, so if nothing is in place she might automatically become the chief beneficiary as your wife.

Clarify all those issues. C
Then make it clear to your wife that these things are in place.

--
We once had a poster whose situation indicated that his wife and her lover might be out to kill him. The above is the advice I (and many others) gave him, only we also added the clause to share the concerns with a friend along with a sealed letter outlining why you had these concerns. The spouse was then informed that IF anything happened the life-insurance was already moved to the kids and that if the husband passed away under any circumstances there was a process in place to inform authorities and all stakeholders about his fears. Any money coming her way would be held until all doubt was cleared.

"If, therefore, any be unhappy, let him remember that he is unhappy by reason of himself alone." Epictetus

posts: 10744   ·   registered: Sep. 29th, 2005
id 8742029
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 takethelongview (original poster member #44822) posted at 12:18 AM on Tuesday, June 28th, 2022

I considered bifurcation, it can be done in my state. It is rare though. I think that would just continue the futility. We have wasted years doing this, I want to be free.

I am learning to abide.
Separation and divorce soon.
BS
DDay 2011

DD grown now
DD grown now
Reconciliation was a mirage

posts: 276   ·   registered: Sep. 9th, 2014   ·   location: NC
id 8742235
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