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crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 5:58 PM on Tuesday, May 17th, 2022
I really thought he would have reached out by now, even if it was just to see the boys.
This is despicable! Everything he has done to you is. It took me a LONG time to really see who my xWS was. It will take time for your heart to catch up to your head, but your brother and the members here are correct in that your WS isn't up to the task of R. It hurts to hear that I remember when I first got here and a member told me my xWS was not cut for R.
Journey from Abandonment to Healing is such a great book. Another good book is The Body Keeps the Score.
Sending you so many hugs today. Right now you are in the throes of this but you will emerge and you will be ok and even happy again :)
[This message edited by crazyblindsided at 6:00 PM, Tuesday, May 17th]
fBS/fWS(me):52 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:55 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(22) DS(19)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Separated 9/2019; Divorced 8/2024
gmc94 ( member #62810) posted at 10:50 PM on Tuesday, May 17th, 2022
Oh MumaBear - just so damned sorry to hear this.
I think you've got a lot of great advice on this thread. And I'm happy to read that you are calling in your family posse (little brother sounds like quite the gem).
Just wanna echo the journey from abandonment to healing by Anderson.
I also recommend Stosne's living and loving after betrayal (what I liked most about that one is its focus on healing rather than all the ways a WS is/can be a bonehead).
The body keeps the score is long, but I cannot say how much it's helped me.
And I agree & cannot emphasize enough how important it is to IMMEDIATELY see an attorney or barrister or solicitor or whatever they are called "across the pond". I hate to "pile on", as I know the load is SOOOO heavy right now... and, getting solid legal advice right away is crucial for you and your kids' welfare. While the infidelity alone means every BS here knows that "I can't believe my spouse is/did...." feeling, there are plenty who have the "bonus" of financial infidelity during S or D. The same things that allow a WS to become a WS and to bail when the going gets tough are the same character traits/values that allow them to justify extreme selfishness during S or D. Maybe the family posse can help?
Anyhow, sending hugs and strength during this super difficult time (FWIW, I also agree with the idea that as awful as all of this feels today, you will learn to survive and thrive).
M >25yrs/grown kids
DD1 1994 ONS prostitute
DD2 2018 exGF1 10+yrEA & 10yrPA... + exGF2 EA forever & "made out" 2017
9/18 WH hung himself- died but revived
It's rude to say "I love you" with a mouthful of lies
Luna10 ( member #60888) posted at 10:53 AM on Wednesday, May 18th, 2022
I couldn’t agree with GMC more, please read her message again.
I hope you’re doing ok MumaBear and I’m sending you virtual hugs.
Dday - 27th September 2017
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