Topic is Sleeping.
hexed (original poster member #19258) posted at 4:59 PM on Monday, February 21st, 2022
Hi to all my looooooong ago class of 2008 of the club we never wanted join!
What a weird yet wonderful moment in time I'm having. The end of February used to be trigger city for me as it relates to my XH. My current H and I have been marriend 5yrs but together 11.5 years... the same amount of time my XH and I were together. I realized this because I have had too much time to think lately.
I was involved in an accident with a horse that landed me in the hospital. H has been amazing. I mean AMAZING. What has become apparent during this time is that he needs more awareness of the details of some of the practical household administrative things. I am the CFO of our lives. We have never share bank accounts and I handle the bills. Coming out of my awful relationship with my XH, the thought of sharing that type of thing made me feel vulnerable. What I realize right now, is it is a relief. I am more than happy to share and bring my H into the loop. 10+ years of healthy relationship has somehow built a level of trust and comfort I never had in my previous M. Somehow, consistent actions on his part have made me so comfortable, I didn't even realize how much I have grown to trust again.
All I'm really saying is that you can trust someone again after infidelity. A near miracle for me, but when the actions matched the words, it's not even been that hard. It just happened.
But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned
“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler
twicefooled ( member #42976) posted at 6:35 PM on Monday, February 21st, 2022
How lovely and inspiring!!!!
I'm 8yrs out of my marriage to my exh. I never thought I could trust someone again with my heart. I met an amazing man when I wasn't looking, at the beginning of the pandemic, whose values match mine (my ex was a conspiracy theorist, where my now man believes in vaccines and masking), and whose actions match his words. A few months into dating, my dog got sprayed by a skunk (he's a huskey with lots of fur). My man lives 40 minutes away. He dropped what he was doing, ran to the store for supplies, and helped me deskunk both my dog and my house. He spent hours here, cleaning and joking with the kids (both his and mine). The dog is a rescue with trust issues, and even HE loves my guy. I have so many instances of him being an amazing partner and we don't even live together. But he definitely found his way into my fragile heart.
Love hearing more stories of this <3
May 29 2021 ***reclaimed myself and decided to delete my story with my ex because I'm now 7 years free from him and mentally healthier than I've been in years.
*********When you know better, you can do better*************
BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 7:14 PM on Monday, February 21st, 2022
Great update! So glad your new M is so healthy and happy. And hope you are on the mend from your accident.
Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)
**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **
EvenKeel ( member #24210) posted at 1:35 PM on Tuesday, February 22nd, 2022
I saw you name pop up and thought....Now there is someone from back in my early years here! So nice to see ya!!! So glad to hear all is great (well....except for your awful accident. Hopefully it is a speedy recovery).
All I'm really saying is that you can trust someone again after infidelity.
I agree. I spent a lot a time during my early NB years reminding myself NOT to hold the poor new guy responsible for my ex's actions. I did a lot of talking to myself during those days. 
Are there jerks out there? YEP! But there are a lot of great folks too. Don't let your past cheat you out of whatever you want in your future. This is your book, not theirs. You get to write your next chapter(s).
Topic is Sleeping.
