Newest Member: loyaltylost

Just Found Out :
Odd question from cheating husband…


 Marlita (original poster member #72286) posted at 1:02 AM on Tuesday, November 16th, 2021

So, my husband, whom I am still married to, who previously lived two different lives, and who still may be…said this to me…
"So, Bob, asked if you were working next Saturday, and if you were, he wanted to me to go out with him."
Side note, I know Bob. And my husband recently referred to him as a "dog".
My husband played dumb…. And said "that’s weird.
I replied…"well clearly he doesn’t want me to join, so maybe he just wants to go out with you."
I honestly don’t care…
I feel like he wants me to keep encouraging him.

posts: 60   ·   registered: Dec. 13th, 2019   ·   location: Usa
id 8698617

rugswept ( member #48084) posted at 1:43 AM on Tuesday, November 16th, 2021

So he tells you he's "going out" with one of his dogs.

Ok. Sounds like going out with a drinking buddy who is after girls all the time.

He said dog, not me. Every man knows exactly what a dog is. We've all known a few.

I guess you must have decided it's not a great idea for him to go out with his friend who picks up girls.

[This message edited by rugswept at 1:44 AM, Tuesday, November 16th]

R'd (rug swept everything) decades ago.
I'm big on R. Very happy marriage but can never forget.

posts: 982   ·   registered: Jun. 2nd, 2015   ·   location: Northeast US
id 8698624

 Marlita (original poster member #72286) posted at 2:09 AM on Tuesday, November 16th, 2021

So, I definitely left the ball in his court…
I absolutely did not give him my thoughts!
He’s already made his bed…
I’m just giving him enough rope…
I don’t trust him as far as I can throw him anyway.
But it’s comical to me…how dumb he’s playing…
If you look up my name, you’ll see my back story…
I welcome any feedback…

posts: 60   ·   registered: Dec. 13th, 2019   ·   location: Usa
id 8698628

leafields ( member #63517) posted at 5:29 AM on Tuesday, November 16th, 2021

SMH. Does he think you have "Stupid" stamped on your forehead?

If infidelity would make a difference in what happens in your situation, you could say you're working and have somebody get pictures with proof.

Me: BW
Married 34 years, 3 DS
DDay #1: March 26, 2018, DDay #2 8/26/2019
Filed for D: 11/16/2020
D Final: 2/25/2021

posts: 698   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8698644

The1stWife ( member #58832) posted at 8:48 AM on Tuesday, November 16th, 2021

He’s a manipulative jerk IMO.

Too bad you can’t be a fly on the wall to find out what he and Bob do for the afternoon. But I’m certain you can guess — and it’s not something you will be shocked at either.

Are you planning to Divorce or Reconcile? That choice makes a difference in your attitude and response in this.

So sorry for you. He’s been cheating the entire marriage correct?

Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled.

posts: 10894   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2017
id 8698650

scaredwoman ( member #78680) posted at 4:49 PM on Tuesday, November 16th, 2021

In your profile you said you discovered a previous 14-year relationship. Is it still ongoing? Was it happening when you two got together and married?

Are you looking for evidence to file for D? Are you letting him live his life and staying in the marriage? I'm a little confused.

posts: 197   ·   registered: Apr. 20th, 2021
id 8698697

 Marlita (original poster member #72286) posted at 11:40 PM on Tuesday, November 16th, 2021

Thank you.
Is it still going? Although we’ve moved out of state, I have to believe that although it may be over with her, it could very well be with someone else.
I know my situation is confusing and unbelievable, but let me give you a mini recap…
It was happening when we got married.
It wasn’t until 2 weeks before our 5th wedding anniversary that I found out.
DDAY 6/24/18.
Met 12/2008
I have evidence.
He’s admitted it.
I spoke to her, the OW, as well.
I’m letting him live his "I’ve changed" life thus far.
However, as a result, I have changed.
All of a sudden he’s reformed, according to him.
But I’ve learned that I am not a good forgiver…in THIS particular situation.
Still married…but only on paper.
I’m mentally separated from him.
I do my thing, albeit, still faithful, but have become much more independent…
I’m certainly not the woman he married as a result of the "man" he’s shown me to be…
Just letting Karma take over…
Definitely not a happy wife…but I’m a stronger woman!

posts: 60   ·   registered: Dec. 13th, 2019   ·   location: Usa
id 8698779

 Marlita (original poster member #72286) posted at 11:49 PM on Tuesday, November 16th, 2021

Thank you.
Not quite sure what my plans are…
He’s definitely manipulative.
But as a result of it, my eyes are WIDE open.
I’d be a fool to think he’s faithful.
His loss actually…

I could honestly give a crap less if he goes out with his dog friend…

I think because he knows how my attitude is now, he may stay in.

But like I said, I could really care less

I appreciate your response!

posts: 60   ·   registered: Dec. 13th, 2019   ·   location: Usa
id 8698780

 Marlita (original poster member #72286) posted at 11:53 PM on Tuesday, November 16th, 2021

Thank you.
Right? I’m far from stupid.
As far as pictures, I could do that, but from what I’ve previously seen since DDAY, I’ve seen enough pictures AND videos…

I am already hardened by that!

Thank you again for your response!

posts: 60   ·   registered: Dec. 13th, 2019   ·   location: Usa
id 8698784
Cookies on®® uses cookies to enhance your visit to our website. This is a requirement for participants to login, post and use other features. Visitors may opt out, but the website will be less functional for you.

v.1.001.20211202 2002-2021® All Rights Reserved. • Privacy Policy