My 34 year old daughter, the child's mother, has been in and out of rehab since the child was born. She has not seen the child since he was around 1 and 1/2, at which time it wasn't obvious that he had problems.
My daughter has been sober for 6 months, has a good job, and the child's father has agreed she can meet her son and start visitation, which would be supervised initially.
My daughter is clueless about the condition of her son. He's a happy kid, but it's obvious he's not right. He doesn't seem to know he doesn't have a mother in his life, as he has a good extended family on his father's side.
I fear that by meeting her son, my daughter will initially be confused and then possibly overrun by guilt. Which would lead to relapse.
I'm reluctant to clue her in, as I'm not qualified. My wife has an appointment with a counselor in a few weeks and we are hoping that will provide guidance. But I've always felt the community here is more knowledgeable that a counselor.
Plus you guys don't mince words.
My daughter has seen photos of her son, but no videos. Videos would reflect the impact from the alcohol.
She thinks she's going to meet a mature, heathy son who will be thrilled to meet his mother.
I know, how did it get this far. It's a long and painful story. I just hate to see her relapse and I fear meeting her son would lead to a relapse.
I'm thinking she needs to have a good friend to be with her before, during and after the visit.
What, if anything, do I tell her about her son's problems before she meets him? I have to say something don't I?
The child's father, who is a good man, isn't concerned for my daughter's welfare like I am, which is why I'm the one seeking guidance.