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Off Topic :
Kid crying wolf i am so angry

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 DragnHeart (original poster member #32122) posted at 9:55 PM on Wednesday, September 29th, 2021

DD has always been dramatic and demanded people do things for her or do what SHE wants.

Even in fucking kindergarten this kid knew how to manipulate people to make them do things for her. Her then teacher asked me if dd was capable of say putting on her boots, coat etc. When i said hell ya she can teacher explained that dd was making people believe she couldn't do things so everyone was helping her. She was so tiny and "cute" and everyone was in line wanting to help...

Teacher put an end to that...

DD uses her small stature as an excuse why she cant do this or that. It's all bullshit and she knows that I know its bullshit.

I do not put up with her crap.

Every day she bitches that she cannot help DS with dishes because she has homework BUT she can sneak out and play with the baby pig one of our sows just had. I called bullshit and told her so and she helped ds all the while mouthing off.

Once done she goes to her room to do her homework.

Then she comes out demanding i help her with her art. Not asking for help, demanding it. I explain how to do what she needs to do and she flips out becauze I wont do it FOR HER...

She blows up in my face that i dont care, want her to fail and no wonder she wants to KILL HERSELF as she storms off to her room.

I needed a minute to calm down then went to tell her that since she feels suicidal i would be taking her to the hospital as soon as her dad got home.

Wanna see a kid change her tune really fast. She not only finished her art but has been saying she doesnt want to kill herself so no need to go to the hospital and its no big deal etc.

I told her its a VERY big deal and not something to mess around with.

Shes been all nice since. Grrr

Teenage girls suck!!! Glad i was never one lol.

Damn good thing shes having special education psychological testing done. Ill be adding this incident into the mountain of paperwork i have to fill out for her..

I know life with kids is only going to get worse lol. No delusions there but tell me i am capable of dealing with all this shit.

Me: BS 44 nowWH: 35 almost 36 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons.Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that.Full disclosure March 8th 2019 four AP's.

posts: 22087   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8690925
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 DragnHeart (original poster member #32122) posted at 1:29 PM on Thursday, September 30th, 2021

Today is Orange shirt day.

We only had 3 T shirts and one pullover sweater thats orange. I washed all of them last night. Of the t shirts only ONE fits DS. So what does DD do.. .takes THAT FUCKING SHIRT.

Ds says its fine and puts on orange shorts that are more red than orange. I tell dd to switch shirts so they each have one. She throws a tantrum, gives DS the shirt that fits but refuses to wear the other one.

I am so fucking sick of her all about me attitude. Phone gone.

Me: BS 44 nowWH: 35 almost 36 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons.Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that.Full disclosure March 8th 2019 four AP's.

posts: 22087   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8691021
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The1stWife ( member #58832) posted at 1:53 PM on Thursday, September 30th, 2021

You are trying to undo her "princess" attitude.

Hang in there you are doing everything you can. When she yells you don’t not react. Tell her when she learns to behave like a civil human being she can then talk to you. Until then it’s crickets.

My kids tried to manipulate me early on. I told them they had the wrong mother to get away with that crap. laugh

Also I hope she learned it’s not joke to threaten suicide and you did the right thing.

Don’t let her verbally abuse siblings or anyone. That has to stop b/c you know she’s doing that outside of the home as well.

Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled.

posts: 10736   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2017
id 8691028
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 DragnHeart (original poster member #32122) posted at 3:26 PM on Thursday, September 30th, 2021

I have a bad temper so yes i usually step back and give her crickets while i calm down. Oh she hates crickets lol.

I hope she has learned her lesson with crying wolf but if jot i wont hesitate to drag her ass to the ER lol

She always complains that i ruined her life by having more children.

Not being the centre of attention anymore is just awful lol rolleyes . For her first two years she was but also spoiled by MIL & SIL. Those were bad, tough times. Im sure people remember my posts from back then.

I told wh about dd's tantrum on his break. He says time to sit her down and have a talk to figure out whats going on in her head.

I know what it is.

She wants control. She doesn't have control over her medical issues which pretty much rules her life. Ok let me correct that. She makes it the focus of her life. Truely her "issues" arent serious at all.

Do the suck? Hell ya!

Is it beyond frustrating not knowing WHY its all happened? Double Hell ya!

Will we ever know for sure? Maybe

Will a diagnosis change anything?
NO!!!

SHE IS WHO SHE IS. She needs to accept that. We have been coping/dealing with each "issue" for 13 years and doing pretty damn good too.

In the mean time i need to find out of shes still being bullied/teased at school. If yes then the school will need to do something about it asap...or i will.

Me: BS 44 nowWH: 35 almost 36 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons.Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that.Full disclosure March 8th 2019 four AP's.

posts: 22087   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8691043
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whatisloveanyway ( member #66450) posted at 4:41 PM on Thursday, September 30th, 2021

I feel your pain. I have two, DS a quiet, kind and complacent child, who we all agree ruined us for the next one, DD, an indescribable ball of energy, emotion and manipulation. We had a very tough time with her because of the constant drama. Mine are on the autistic but gifted spectrum and they have challenged me in very different ways.

It took me years to realize that DD's emotional manipulation and outbursts was triggering me to FOO issues. I had a narcissistic and emotionally unstable and resentful mother. I entered motherhood determined to do better, not realizing the impact my DD's emotional manipulations would cause me, by reverting me back to an emotional teenager. It was really tough for years. Once I learned how she was triggering me, I was able to handle her better as a mom than as a damaged daughter myself. It is hard being a mom. I called it herding chickens, because I could never get them rounded up and doing anything I needed them to do without great effort and stress.

Our DD was selfish from birth, always wanting whatever DS had, even as an infant, she would crawl from her Christmas toy pile to try and take his toys. It was never about the toys but about getting what he had. And that kid has wanted everything. I got a 3 page handwritten letter in elementary school explaining why letting her have fire belly toads as pets was a good idea and all the ways she would be responsible in caring for them. One guess how that turned out after I caved and got those cute little toads. My DD is an acquirer, not a keeper. The things she has to have, she grows bored with as the next thing comes along. Toys, clothes, then boyfriends... it's been very interesting watching her grow up.

She's grown now, a working girl with a great job and we are so proud and amazed that she has made so much progress as a person. We pull out the old letters and photos and reminisce about what a pain in the ass she was for the first 18 years or so, and she is legitimately embarrassed about her behavior, and asked why we put up with her being such a brat. Ha! It's not like we all didn't try to change her but she is a force.

If it is any consolation, the traits that drive you crazy now might just serve her well out in the real world. Our DD is confident and fearless in getting what she wants, be it jobs, relationships, hobbies, friends. She puts up with zero crap from people and is relatively happy now. I love her with all I have, and I'm so proud of who she has become, but I will always remember how many ways she drove me to the brink of my patience and my sanity when she was in her worst phases.

I always told myself that crummy kid phases were signs of big growth, either physical or emotional. I read a lot about brain development during the tween and teen years and that helped me stay sane and have some empathy for them both too.

Hang in there mama!

BW: 61 WH: 61 Both 57 on Dday. M: 34 years, 2 grown kids, 9 year Affair with MOW, 7 month False Recovery, year + trickle truth. I got rid of her. Reconciling, but the lies have piled up. Trying one more time.
Sorry for the sticky shift key and typos.

posts: 279   ·   registered: Oct. 9th, 2018   ·   location: Southeastern USA
id 8691059
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 DragnHeart (original poster member #32122) posted at 7:28 PM on Thursday, September 30th, 2021

I have left a message for dd"s teacher. Hopefully she and i can get an idea of what's going on at school.

Dd is the same in that she wants stuff but gets bored of it fast. Wants a cat, ferrets, latest gaget/toy and boom...loses interest and everyone else is taking care of the cat, ferrets and i refuse to get her "stuff" just because.

The list if doctors, specialists, social workers, dieticians, etc we saw with dd is ridiculous. All of them agreed dd was not on the spectrum.

The same is said for DS.

Three of the four kids have the same genetic mutation passed on from their father which would NORMALLY have resulted in a diagnosis BUT none of them have the main symptom of the syndrome so they cannot be officially diagnosed with that.

The entire bunch of us has had a full genetic work up and dd still sees her endocrinologist because shes on growth hormone treatments.

Right now it's like shes in a constant state if PMS. Always miserable. This also got really bad after school started again so i think its got alot to do with being bullied

Me: BS 44 nowWH: 35 almost 36 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons.Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that.Full disclosure March 8th 2019 four AP's.

posts: 22087   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8691078
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Gottagetthrough ( member #27325) posted at 4:50 PM on Friday, October 1st, 2021

Hey, DragnHeart

That kid sounds a little like me when I was a teen. I was very demanding an dramatic.

I put my poor parents through a lot!

Around 20 I snapped out of it. And honestly by about 17 or 18 I was much better.

It was like 12-16 that I was the worst.

She will get better! You are a great mom. Teens are the worst! laugh

posts: 3617   ·   registered: Jan. 22nd, 2010
id 8691224
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 DragnHeart (original poster member #32122) posted at 5:03 PM on Friday, October 1st, 2021

I am sorry i didnt update. Murphy has paid a visit and can just fuck off at this point. Way to much going wrong.
.anyways i left a message for her teacher expressing concern about bullying. Teacher calls back while in class but i missed the call. I call her back and we talk briefly. She asks if she can call after school. So she calls. Says she took dd aside and asked if she was having any issues with other students and that its ok to tell her so she could deal with it in a discrete way so no one thinks dd snitched.

Dd says all is fine, no problems at all.

Teacher calls me and says she thinks dd is just going through serious hormonal changes and it is not coping well with her emotions. That acting out at home while being an angel at school is typical and she will grow out of it. Zhe zaid i am doing the best with her (ignoring bad behavior, giving consequences etc) and overall dd is doing amazing this year so far.

The teacher said she will be extra vigilant in watching for any bullying just to be safe.

Yesterday dd was much much better.. no outbursts.

Me: BS 44 nowWH: 35 almost 36 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons.Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that.Full disclosure March 8th 2019 four AP's.

posts: 22087   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8691228
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Gottagetthrough ( member #27325) posted at 5:05 AM on Tuesday, October 5th, 2021

Oh yeah, acting out at home while being an angel in school is super common. The kid feels safe to let it all out at home- they have to keep it bottled inside at school.

A really big stretch- any chance she might have ADHD? I am pretty sure I have it after my son was diagnosed a few years ago. I kept telling the teachers at school who said they thought he had it, "No, he doesn’t have ADHD, he’s just like me as a kid." And then Id get the side eye from the teacher, like, yeah… it’s genetic a lot of the time… hint hint!

I would be so good in school. Always Excellent in conduct. Then I would come home and literally run around the dining room table back out into the living room over and over. Like a dog with the zoomies.

My sister would say what are you doing Gotta!!! I would say, "i had to hold it in all day, I got to get it out!!"

posts: 3617   ·   registered: Jan. 22nd, 2010
id 8691662
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