Newest Member: Serenity7

Divorce/Separation :
Lonely

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 coldshot101 (original poster Member #56159) posted at 12:46 AM on Wednesday, September 1st, 2021

I feel so alone and hopeless. I’m 57 years old. Some days, I just want to end all of the pain. I can’t imagine going through another year or 30 years like this…

Coldshot

posts: 69   ·   registered: Nov. 14th, 2016   ·   location: Ohio
id 8686544
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TruthIsPower ( Member #75776) posted at 6:05 AM on Wednesday, September 1st, 2021

Coldshot,
you have been heard....

Now it's time for real healing after the time of terrible abuse by your WW. Thankfully it's now in the past.

57 years young! Time does not exist....

Miracles are just around the corner wink

"Stop giving people the reasons to love you. Not all will see the beauty of your soul. Those who know, those who know who you are, will love you with something fierce and never let you go. Those are the ones worth holding out for."

posts: 95   ·   registered: Oct. 30th, 2020   ·   location: US
id 8686577
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BearlyBreathing ( Member #55075) posted at 6:48 AM on Wednesday, September 1st, 2021

54 years old here- and plenty of life to live. You will not always be lonely. You may have some lonely moments, but as you heal and get out, you will find a whole world there. And you’ll find you are okay alone, not lonely.

Stay busy, get a pet, join a gym, learn to cook, say yes to any and all invitations- it gets better.

Also IC helped me a lot.

Me: BS 54 (49 on d-day)Him: WH. 64D-Day 8/15/2016 LTAKinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 4211   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8686578
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Fof9303 ( Member #70433) posted at 1:05 AM on Thursday, September 2nd, 2021

@coldshot101

I am sorry that you have been treated so poorly especially after offering her forgiveness because that is not an easy thing to do when you have experienced the trauma from infidelity. It is hard. I know how hard it is and I remember those first days and weeks and months and would not wish it on anyone. With that being said, you will get through this. If you were strong enough the first time this happened... you are even stronger now... remember that, but if at anytime you feel you cant handle things please call this number toll free 800-273-8255. Please don't ever do something that cannot be undone. Take each day and conquer it.. get busy... pick up a hobby... exercise... go to counseling... take care of yourself and you will heal... God Bless.

posts: 96   ·   registered: Apr. 27th, 2019
id 8686703
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BentandBroken ( Member #72519) posted at 3:35 PM on Thursday, September 2nd, 2021

I'm also 57 and ended a relationship of 23 years after learning of my xWHs many affairs. I am a little farther out than you, but I understand the loneliness. The pain. The overwhelming desire to want the pain and anxiety to be over. The inability to see a way forward. The never ending feeling of being so tired...tired of feeling like this, tired of the uncertainty, tired of being the bigger person...tired of feeling so damn lonely...just tired.

It gets better. I promise you, it gets better. Not quickly, not easily, but you will get through this and you'll end up at a much better place...a healthy state of mind you can't possibly imagine in this moment. It starts with having good moments, then good hours, then good days and then good weeks.

You won't feel like this for 30 years. Keep posting here. You are not alone.

20+ year relationshipNever officially marriedDday November 20194 wonderful grown childrenWH multiple APs, currently involved with married COWKicked him out on Dday and that was that

posts: 314   ·   registered: Jan. 9th, 2020   ·   location: Michigan
id 8686778
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src9043 ( Member #75367) posted at 9:44 PM on Thursday, September 2nd, 2021

The best way to combat negative feelings is to work on yourself, whether it involves advancement in your work or career, improvement in your health and physical shape, or new and exciting activities and friendships. There are also other women out there. Make yourself as attractive and available as possible to them. I will not sugar coat dating. For me, it was a long windy road. But it ultimately paid dividends. Perseverance is essential. You are entitled to the best life possible. Don't allow your ex-wife to deny that to you.

posts: 413   ·   registered: Sep. 7th, 2020
id 8686886
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BentandBroken ( Member #72519) posted at 6:29 PM on Saturday, September 4th, 2021

Hi Coldshot. How are you doing? Check your PMs.

20+ year relationshipNever officially marriedDday November 20194 wonderful grown childrenWH multiple APs, currently involved with married COWKicked him out on Dday and that was that

posts: 314   ·   registered: Jan. 9th, 2020   ·   location: Michigan
id 8687137
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