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Everything is happening and I am afraid

AsUWish posted 6/1/2021 14:42 PM

Everything is happening all at once since I filed in February. It seemed like there was no movement....NONE.... and now its all happening at once and all the changes are scaring the Sh*t out of me.

It's all making me question what I am doing.

STBXWH and I moved out of our house last Saturday. I got to sleep in my new place one night and then had to take my daughter on a trip for school on Sunday and wont be home till Tuesday late. Wednesday I have a virtual work meeting all day, and STBXH wants me to meet him at our old house to help him finish up cleaning out the garage.

We are trying to decide if we want to place the money from the sale of our house in a trust until our mediation date June 30th. I'm torn on this and so is he.

My mother who lives 3+ hours away somehow contacted a person she knows in my town and trashed my STBXH and the rumor mills went crazy. The rumors came straight to him and he is pissed as am I! She was asked---TOLD--- to stay out of it. She likes chaos and likes to create drama. These new rumors are making it harder for H and I to work through the remaining details of our divorce. I found out this while I am 6 hours away on the trip with my daughter and can't do a thing about it.

Finally mediation is on June 30th. So many changes. So many tears.

Guys I'm terrified. I know I can't go back to my husband, but at the same time I don't want to cut that relationship loose. Am I crazy?

BearlyBreathing posted 6/1/2021 14:45 PM

Nope. Totally normal.
Thereís a feeling of comfort in what you know and a feeling of fear in what you donít know.
But you know heís not good for you, so you are making the right choice.
Read the posted fear vs reality thread- itís pure gold.

As for what to do wtih the funds from your home- your lawyer should be able to advice I would think. And momó yeah, well, not sure what you can do there.

Hang in there ó you are close. And you are doing GREAT.

crazyblindsided posted 6/1/2021 17:49 PM

(((AsUWish))) It is a scary process and totally normal. It is new and unknown and exciting and scary all at once. There are times I question my decision still, but I know I really had no other decision. I had to look out for me.

AsUWish posted 6/2/2021 11:39 AM

Thank you for your words. Yesterday was hard. I felt like I was in fight or flight mode all day...

Today will be another hard day once I decide to go back to the old house to help H pack up the garage. He swears he needs me there to help... I am skeptical. I will go and pack up what little I have in the garage and then leave I guess. He still has a HUGE mess in the house that he hasn't packed and I get the feeling he wants me to help him pack. I have a hard time saying no, so the best thing I can do is go and leave as quickly as possible.

cbgrace1980 posted 6/3/2021 14:04 PM

You're having absolutely normal feelings. It is very difficult to go through what you are going through. You're having to keep your own mom straight which is hard! Just remember to think things through before you make a decision. You can't necessarily trust your husband to help you make a good decision, so I would definitely lean on my attorney for guidance. This will be over soon. Hugs to you.

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