The blaming you is a core demonstration of her internal failure.
I experience that regularly with my SO. According to her:
I am the reason she quit her amazingly wonderful job where she was a rising star and on her way to being a millionaire... Reality- She cried and begged not to go to work and asked to be a SAHM because we had babies (twins) that had all kinds of issues. She was one of thousands of employees at a hospital, making basic money and likely going nowhere big on advancement as she was only part time.
Meeting me derailed her brilliant career. Her prior boss specially selected her and was grooming her to run her own clinic where she would have made millions and saved lives by doing magic medical treatments that rival superman's abilities to leap tall buildings... Reality- Her boss was a fat bald guy who, by her own admission, said she was "The most beautiful therapist" in the clinic and showed her off to all the other women working there. He sent her on various sales rep calls. She can't accept that she got the job because she had big boobs and was pretty...that is insane to her...but totally true. She is not magically talented or smarter...she just happened to be hotter than the other applicants and her boss wanted to bang her. BTW...she didn't work there long and didn't have sex with him...and she can't see how the two are related.
The kids are the most important thing in the world and worth all the sacrifice in terms of jobs, money, travel...
Reality- She constantly says it's my fault she lost money, couldn't take jobs, couldn't travel, lost her long term single friends...when she knows my job pays 3x what hers ever paid and provided the health insurance that paid for a 500K surgery...but I'm the bad guy because I have to travel for work and my work travel is a benefit because I got to go to some exotic place she wanted to go...nevermind that I literally worked 16HR days and lived on room service because I was so exhausted from work. In her mind...it was vacation... and the kids are to blame...because I can't stay home while she goes to work...as if she could earn anywhere close to what I make.
Or how "I got her pregnant"...when she not only got off the pill, said she wanted 5 kids, took ovulation tests, and intentionally initiated sex saying "get me pregnant"...yeah, my fault she got pregnant.
Personal responsibility is seriously absent in some people and it is the critical point in why they fail over and over without understanding why they keep failing...so they blame you.
It's not you...it is them.
[This message edited by WalkingHome at 11:16 AM, April 12th (Monday)]