40 somethings - me BW after 20 years
D Day April 2013
Divorced November 2013
Happily remarried 2018
Time is a great healer but a terrible beautician.
Hey fam - checking in
It has been awhile. One of the things that is interesting about SI is that the wisdom one gains here applies to many areas of life and continues to benefit me long after I've survived infidelity and divorce.
It has been over seven years since my divorce. It has been over a year since my son died. In the time since then I have had other losses, including other lost loved ones and COVID related financial devastation.
I'm still here. I'm still fighting. I'm trying so hard to make sense of all the loss and chaos of the last seven - going on eight - years. If you still have everyone you love - give thanks and let the rest go.
My ex is still a monster. If you are wondering if you made or are making the right decision by leaving an NPD, you are. I have gone completely NO CONTACT with my ex because of the way he continues to devastate the people he loves, including his surviving child and new wife. It's sickening to me to think of the years and tears I threw away on this terrible person. He is still cheating and will never have a fraction of the character I have. I am profoundly relieved to be rid of him. Thank you again SI for being a lantern in the dark.
I wish you all a kinder and gentler 2021.
3 comments posted: Sunday, January 3rd, 2021
Sometimes Karma rolls up in a tank
My disgusting XH remarried last fall. He had dated this woman for several years, but I did not know her well. I wanted to warn her, but couldn't figure out how to do it without coming off as the crazy ex, and he is a very gifted and convincing liar. Well friends, Karma showed up and drove a tank over him. Only a few months into the marriage, she intercepted a text from his girlfriend and the shit hit the fan. He had just sold his house and all of its contents, bringing nothing but the clothes on his back when they got married. He had sold of all his furniture and home goods. And she kicked him out. He is quarantining alone in an apartment. Where he has no one to spend time with and tons of time to think about how badly he has fucked up his life. Oh and here's another fun detail. His AP turned out to be whackadoodle and they had to call the police because she was stalking them both. And did I mention my XH is a major money grabber? His wife is quite wealthy and he is extremely cheap, so he is also watching her big fat bank account slam shut to him.
I'm calling it Karma, but it's really just some brutal and predictable consequences. About damn time.
17 comments posted: Friday, April 17th, 2020
I feel defeated and broken beyond repair
I posted recently about the loss of my beloved son. It feels too big to come back from. I had a terrible FOO, but was determined to do better and be better. Married an NPD ass (20 years), who finally made it black and white to leave by joining AFF, but again I was determined to come out on the other side as not just a survivor but a thriver. But losing my son has taken the sauce out of me. There is no fight left. I feel this time that life has knocked me down and I have no desire to heal or rebuild. I'm back in therapy but feel it is pointless. There is nothing to fix. I have a daughter who needs me and a husband who loves me, but I feel like a shell of who I was. It's not that I'm looking for advice or sympathy, I just needed to get it out.
15 comments posted: Sunday, December 15th, 2019
Need help finding an account
Can anyone please help me locate an OLD account. Please PM for details for reasons of discretion. I will update when I have gotten the help I need so no one needs duplicate effort. Thank you SI peeps!
0 comment posted: Tuesday, August 13th, 2019
Has anyone read "Tis" the sequel to Angela's Ashes?
Is it good? I can't imagine it's as riveting as that childhood.
6 comments posted: Tuesday, March 29th, 2016
please change the title on the Atlanta G2G to:
Helen, GA Oktoberfest GTG Sept 19
2 comments posted: Friday, July 10th, 2015
Helen, GA Oktoberfest GTG Sept 19 (Pictures Start on Page 4)
It's been a while, any interest?
87 comments posted: Tuesday, April 21st, 2015