Newest Member: username3016

Wayward Side :
Taking responsibility can be tough

Topic is Sleeping.

HellFire ( Member #59305) posted at 10:36 PM on Saturday, January 9th, 2021

Your needs were not being met and you found validation elsewhere.

So it's his wife's fault he cheated?


posts: 3706   ·   registered: Jun. 20th, 2017   ·   location: The Midwest
id 8623397

BluerThanBlue ( Member #74855) posted at 11:42 PM on Saturday, January 9th, 2021

Why wasn't your wife's coldness and critical behavior a problem for you before you got married?

And if you feel inclined to blame your wife for your affair, then why aren't you also blaming yourself for her lack of desire and affection for you?

[This message edited by BluerThanBlue at 5:43 PM, January 9th (Saturday)]

BW, age 40
Divorced WH in 2015; now happily remarried to a great guy

I edit my comments a lot for spelling, grammar, tone, and rewording. I'm not being sneaky; I'm just critical of my own writing.

posts: 471   ·   registered: Jul. 13th, 2020
id 8623410

Tallgirl ( Member #64088) posted at 9:07 PM on Sunday, January 10th, 2021

I agree with hikingout and gmc. Well said by both.

Take responsibility for your life. Maybe if you also engaged with your wife more she would be more interested. She has a lot on her plate.

Your post Is more about justifying your EA than taking responsibility. I am not seeing any remorse just excuses.

If you justify this EA, you will do the same for a PA. It gets easier. I know, my stbxh is text book in how he progressed.

your poor me about having an unloving wife is not admirable. She is not unloving, you both have to work on your M.

You need to go to IC. She is the same woman you married and she does a lot for you and your family.

You both can decide to fix this or not. Stop finding excuses, find solutions and go to counselling. This could be the catalyst to fixing your M. Or you can decide to end it.

Just own what you did and that your marital problems are also yours.

Legally separated, one more step.

posts: 1646   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2018
id 8623552
Topic is Sleeping.
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