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Star on top of my tree,...reflection

broken2 posted 12/24/2020 15:02 PM

The Christmas after my divorce the little brokens and I were decorating the Christmas tree. I carefully unwrapped the star that my now x husband had bought when we had next to nothing. I cherished that star and every Christmas beamed with memories of out first Christmas together. I held it in my hands that afternoon with the little brokens buzzing around me excited about the decorations. I could not get myself to put that on our tree. That star was not giving me joy anymore. The meaning it represented for me was no longer.

That evening the little brokens and I went out to the store and bought an angel to put on top of the tree. I was so happy, it was a new beginning for us.

Years have passed now and this year I was decorating the tree by myself. I pulled out the carefully wrapped angel. Turns out she did not light up anymore. I drove to the store and bought a beautiful star drove it home and joyfully put it on top of my tree. I know this sounds corny, but it's another new beginning for me. The little brokens are no longer little and are out on their own. I have done a lot of healing and find I'm at another beginning. I am in a very good place, I will be fine.

Merry Christmas!
I am no longer...broken2

Chili posted 12/24/2020 15:27 PM

I love this broken2. Christmas has always been kind of landmark-y for me in the way it seems to be for you.

The Christmas after I lost two dogs in the same year, I couldn't bring myself to put their picture ornaments on the tree. I think it just hurt too much. So I skipped putting up a tree altogether.

When I got my NB dog, I pulled all of them out and purchased what I now call my dog tree. It has all those pup memories and new yearly pics of my dog. Plus some fun canine themed ones. Sometimes I have all the emotions when I'm decorating it.

I really kind of like how you reclaimed the star this time. Not corny - I think we all should have these little rituals and moments to mark things. Sounds pretty unbroken to me!

BearlyBreathing posted 12/24/2020 16:24 PM

Sounds beautiful to me. Marking milestones is important!
(And sounds like you need a new name, broken :-). You sound pretty darn un-broken to me!)

[This message edited by BearlyBreathing at 4:24 PM, December 24th, 2020 (Thursday)]

Phoenix1 posted 12/24/2020 18:20 PM

Good for you, broken!!

Hedwig posted 12/25/2020 14:09 PM

I love this so much, broken2. I like symbolism and rituals. I'd like to believe you were your own Angel that first Christmas after divorce

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