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Anyone have ANY experience with this?

STBX and I wrote up our own settlement agreement and filed it. At the time I was under severe emotional distress since it was his 2nd affair, COVID, anxiety attacks and I just wanted him out. He said he wouldn't sign it unless it stated what he wanted.

We have not had any hearings with a judge yet. I have since come to my senses and hired an attorney. Attorney filed to have settlement agreement dismissed. He says it is one-sided plus STBX in the interim has gotten his old job back and child support payment is way too low based on his current income.

STBX now has an attorney too. His attorney filed to have original settlement agreement approved by judge.

Do I have a chance??? Feeling like an idiot for what I originally agreed to as well as if he wins, he screwed me over again. Ugh!

What does your lawyer say? I would think that if you changed your mind before the judge signed off, AND your lawyer has a dismissal filed which proves this, it would be void but I am not a legal expert. I also understand that sometimes judges will not sign off on a completely lop-sided agreement.

If worse comes to worse, take a deep breath and know that since his circumstances have since changed, which is the requirement to file to amend the settlement, that this is the case and you can request any alterations you deserve. It would have to go through the process again and be mediated or go in front of a judge if he doesn't agree. You can also request to back-date his payments. Not sure if you would get it but you can see what your lawyer says about that. You will be okay.

[This message edited by Anna123 at 9:16 PM, December 9th (Wednesday)]

I don't know where you are, but where I am, a judge would not sign off on a one sided agreement. His lawyer could just be blowing smoke up his butt to get money. Also where I am, if a settlement is not looked over by your own lawyer before signed it's null and void. So hopefully you have similar rules where you are.

If you didn’t have a case then the attorney woukd not have filed to have the agreement dismissed.

Stay strong.

STBX now has an attorney too. His attorney filed to have original settlement agreement approved by judge.

Do I have a chance???

I don't know where you are, but where I am, a judge would not sign off on a one sided agreement. His lawyer could just be blowing smoke up his butt to get money.

I'd imagine that it would depend on the judge. Way back in May 2019, I had a preliminary hearing and I arrived at the court early and I was able to watch my judge in action during other cases.

One of the cases that I watched was a situation somewhat like yours. Two people were getting divorced and they had reached an agreement and they showed up in court to have the judge sign off on it. The judge was particularly concerned (and he literally said this) that one of the parties had an attorney and one of the parties did not. The no-attorney-person (I think it was the wife) literally had to convince the judge that she felt that the agreement was fair. She basically said that she negotiated the settlement with her attorney's help, but then she didn't pay for the attorney to come to court because she was short on funds. The judge replied (with a smile) that attorneys were very expensive and that he fully understood her logic.

Also, you need to realize that your STBX's attorney is literally required by legal ethics to aggressively represent his client under the law. That is, many people would argue that it would be unethical for his attorney to do anything other than file to have the original agreement approved by the judge.

Update on this since I had my hearing and divorce went through. I walked into my lawyer's office 30 minutes before Zoom hearing. My lawyer said my stbx's lawyer was on the phone wanting to settle before judge appeared. In a nutshell I got the right amount of child support he was trying to avoid paying and he also gets less of the equity on the house than in the original agreement. So I got what I came for! Added bonus is knowing he hired a very expensive attorney because it is the same one his AP has for her divorce. He looked so mad my attorney even mentioned it.

Funny how dumb these lying cheaters turn out to be.

Love the outcome!!!! All the best to you!

That's good news. It's very common for lawyers to work up to the last minute to reach an agreement without having to have the judge make a decision. It removes any unexpected rulings that may/may not occur.

👏👏👏👏👏

Well Done!

I once had to sue a person on behalf of a HOA I was a board-member on. We all the time thought we had an open and shut case but the debtor entered all sorts of arguments, constantly delaying the court-date with new “evidence” and arguments. Eventually our attorney, his attorney and the judge had a conference call to organize the court-appearance. Usually this is done simply to allocate court-time. However our attorney shared how the judge had right away addressed the debtors attorney and “suggested” that he find an acceptable financial settlement. The judge then went along telling them about his powers as a judge to place fines on attorneys that wasted court time with dead-clear cases… Half an hour later we got what we asked for plus interest and legal fees…

It’s great when the legal system works!

As far as your original question: One of the tasks that a court/judge looks into with a self-done uncontested divorce is to evaluate a) is it fair b) do both parties understand what they are agreeing to c) did they have any legal representation. If the judge thinks any of those issues are amiss they will even order legal representation.

[This message edited by Bigger at 10:06 AM, January 27th (Wednesday)]

Yay! I am so happy this worked out for you. Time to have a wonderful cheater-free life:-)