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Newest Member: 30yearsofheartache

Divorce/Separation :
First Holiday of Many

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 Hutch (original poster member #70846) posted at 3:19 PM on Wednesday, November 25th, 2020

I was driving back from the gym this morning and a few thoughts occurred to me. This is my first big holiday after divorce. The first of many. In that moment I experienced various emotions; relief in that I’m finally free, sadness as my kids are experiencing their first in this new life as well, and a bit of confusion in that I felt guilty that I’m happy about this. How a 10 minute drive can produce so many emotions is beyond me. Both of my kids are here with me for Thanksgiving and will be so for Christmas, too. They haven’t mentioned their dad. I’m not sure if they’ve had the discussion about holidays with him and my new motto is “He’s not my problem anymore”. I know this may not be my reality in the years to come, but I’m so incredibly grateful I have my sons with me. I can’t imagine holidays without them.

Anyways, I’m rambling but I guess to those who are at the first holiday stage like myself, or the expert stage, I wish you all peace and comfort, and dare I say it? JOY. 💜

Divorced and living my life.

posts: 245   ·   registered: Jun. 24th, 2019   ·   location: FL
id 8612087

waitedwaytoolong ( member #51519) posted at 9:17 PM on Wednesday, November 25th, 2020

The first holidays, birthdays, etc are all emotional. Change isn’t easy. Even if the change is going from a bad situation to a good one. It takes getting used to.

I’m sure your boys appreciate what you have been through and are thrilled to spend the holidays with you.

Now you just have to put the emotions aside and cook a ton of food for boys of their age!

I am the cliched husband whose wife had an affair with the electrician


posts: 2027   ·   registered: Jan. 26th, 2016
id 8612182

BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 4:29 AM on Thursday, November 26th, 2020

I think you will find it better in some ways. Sure , there will be some weirdness. But I think you will also feel the lack of tension. Enjoy your new fresh holidays!!

Me: BS 55 (49 on d-day)Him: WH. 64. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 5386   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8612249

leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 4:45 AM on Thursday, November 26th, 2020

Hi Hutch,

I'm in the same situation. Moved to my own place in January, but got together with my SO I and family for a few holidays. For Thanksgiving, I'm not going to her house. My STBXWH would be there, and I was stressing about it anyway. Problem solved.

My youngest lives with me, and my oldest & his family live across the street, so we'll be a party of 6 rather than 16.

Wishing you all contentment this season.

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 2184   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8612250

 Hutch (original poster member #70846) posted at 9:30 AM on Thursday, November 26th, 2020


Thank you. I’m always grateful for your words and perspective. Now let the indulging commence. 😉

@Bearly Breathing and leafields

Thank you.

Divorced and living my life.

posts: 245   ·   registered: Jun. 24th, 2019   ·   location: FL
id 8612267
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