Justsomeguy, I am so grateful for this thread. It really put things in perspective for me.
I ended a long term relationship in the summer, after having mentally checked out in January. Nothing was horribly wrong, but the spark was gone, and his penchant for routine clashed with my more adventurous nature. I actually need to thank this pandemic for giving me the courage to leave. For helping me realise that you don’t have to stay in a relationship just because it is not abusive.
Anyway, long story short, I have been single since August and OMG, loving every minute of it. In fact, I don’t remember feeling this peaceful and content in my whole adult life! Being kind to myself, doing what the hell I want, planning trips for next year and actually being able to focus, really focus, on my children, my friends, my job. Not proud of it but all had become an afterthought. It’s what an unsatisfactory relationship does: it swallows you whole and there’s so little of you left. You don’t thrive, you implode.
Now I am embracing the solitude and the silence: the uncompromising quality of it. I don’t feel lonely, I feel whole. I have purpose and am no longer stumbling through life trying to do everything and please everyone and losing myself in the process. Trading all this for the (few) highs and (many) lows of OLD? No effing way!
It’s so nice to have that echoed on here. May I say, I haven’t been on this site for years and it feels like coming home 
Me 48 XWH Irrelevant D-day 23 Feb 163 amazing, resilient kids
You are not a drop in the Ocean, you are the entire Ocean in a drop
