Newest Member: Qashess

Wayward Side :
I don’t know where to put this.

Topic is Sleeping.
default

scrambledbrain ( new member #72790) posted at 6:18 PM on Wednesday, November 18th, 2020

Hiking:

I am just a frequent observer and occasional commenter here. Yes, I have my own story, which I hope to tell soon.

But no one on this site can fail to be amazed by the work you have done, the contributions you have made, and most all, by your eloquent authenticity.

This was all put to the test when Turn the Page decided to Turn the Tables. And I have found, through your words, that you are going through this with an extraordinary amount of self-honesty and good faith.

I don't know if. this helps you or not; it's just a brief comment from an old sinner. But I think what you have inside you will enable you to do anything you wish, and take you to the places you want to go.

I reckon that's about it.

sb

posts: 30   ·   registered: Feb. 11th, 2020
id 8610320
default

MrsWalloped ( member #62313) posted at 12:31 AM on Thursday, November 19th, 2020

Sometimes I have more to say, and other times I am really at a loss of what I would even want to say. Right now I am in the latter part of that pattern.

There’s no need to say anything. Just know that there are people out there thinking of you and wishing you the best.

Me: WW 47
My BH: Walloped 48
A: 3/15 - 8/15 (2 month EA, turned into 3 month PA)
DDay: 8/3/15
In R

posts: 687   ·   registered: Jan. 17th, 2018
id 8610414
default

thatbpguy ( member #58540) posted at 12:12 AM on Friday, November 20th, 2020

There’s no need to say anything. Just know that there are people out there thinking of you and wishing you the best.

This.

I have stopped posting anything out of respect. You've been such a help to so many and now this breaks my heart for you.

Stay strong.

ME: BH Her: WW DDay 1, R; DDay 2, R; DDay 3, I left; Divorced Remarried to a wonderful woman

"There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind." C.S. Lewis

As a dog returns to his vomit, so a fool repeats his folly...

posts: 4455   ·   registered: May. 2nd, 2017   ·   location: Vancouver, WA
id 8610725
default

UnstuffedGiraffe ( member #74937) posted at 1:00 AM on Friday, November 20th, 2020

Maybe because I am mad, and I don't really care what he gets out of it.

As a BS I experienced this, especially early on. HB was a stress reliever for me, it cleared my mind. I think it confused him.

Me BW - Married 20 years
Him - 2 Affairs 9 years apart
DDay October-December 2019 & July 2020

posts: 226   ·   registered: Jul. 20th, 2020   ·   location: Texas
id 8610740
default

brokenInDenver ( member #71262) posted at 8:19 PM on Wednesday, December 9th, 2020

How are you doing hiking... you haven't updated in some time.

BS (me) early 50s. WW late 40s. Two step-kids, no children of our own. Still married

posts: 132   ·   registered: Aug. 13th, 2019   ·   location: Colorado
id 8615385
default

 hikingout (original poster member #59504) posted at 10:22 PM on Wednesday, December 9th, 2020

Hi Brokenindenver,

I have been staying away from SI some trying to get my bearings. And, I am privately journaling more because I don't know if he reads here. He says he does not, but I know I would have had a hard time honoring that early on. Heck, I would have a hard time honoring that now. I have mostly been just responding to other's posts and catching up now and again, so I haven't been on as much.

We are almost 2 months out. We are both in IC right now. He has been doing what I would want to see, AP has stayed out of the picture, etc. I am up and down, but I am trying to just continue to work on myself and continue to get through the things I need to in order to be ready to sell the house (it was already planned before finding out about his affair. Also for some reason purging and organizing is kind of meditative for me)

We may still leave on the RV to travel indefinitely later this year and if not then we were going to downsize anyway. If we downsize we may move to one of our rentals because I don't want to purchase a new home with things shaky like they are. But, the house is too big, requires too much work to maintain and keep clean. I am ready for a simpler life. So, I am focusing on that a lot right now.

It's still possible we may be getting two separate addresses, but at this point I don't think that's what I want. But, I have asked him to be (and I am trying to be) open to any option. I am really uncertain he knows what he wants or needs, he needs to give himself freedom to really evaluate that. We both need a lot of room right now. We are talking, back to sleeping in the same bed, and things are mostly calm. Everything just feels unsettled. I used to plan for the future and right now I am just taking each day as it comes. I think that is good but it is also eerie and weird.

There really hasn't been anything big to tell anyone about. IC is helping me, and I joined a support group through meet up so I don't feel as isolated.

WW/BW BH/WH Turnthepage My Affair DDAY 9/1/2017- 2 month EA/PAHis Affair DDAY 10/10/2020 - 18 month A - EA?/PA

posts: 5922   ·   registered: Jul. 5th, 2017   ·   location: Arizona
id 8615422
default

Neanderthal ( member #71141) posted at 11:47 PM on Wednesday, December 9th, 2020

I don't know if he reads here. He says he does not, but I know I would have had a hard time honoring that early on. Heck, I would have a hard time honoring that now

I certainly understand that. I wasn't particularly good at staying out of LD's threads here. It was like a window into her mind and soul. Really really difficult to stay away. So I'd venture to guess he is reading.

There really hasn't been anything big to tell anyone about.

I would disagree. You're only two months out! This update shows a level of clarity and purpose most betrayed spouses could only dream of. I don't care if you do have a PhD in infidelity. Your response to such an awful trauma is a testament to the work you've accomplished.

Me: WS/BS
XW: Lifedestroyer (LD)

posts: 433   ·   registered: Jul. 30th, 2019   ·   location: OK
id 8615452
default

 hikingout (original poster member #59504) posted at 1:56 PM on Thursday, December 10th, 2020

I would disagree. You're only two months out! This update shows a level of clarity and purpose most betrayed spouses could only dream of. I don't care if you do have a PhD in infidelity. Your response to such an awful trauma is a testament to the work you've accomplished.

I appreciate that N. What I meant though is there haven't been really any big events like broken contact or new discoveries.

I have up and down days, and it's easier to sound logical when you are writing things out. Overall though, I think it's really kind of a waiting game at this point for me. At least that's how I see it. I am not saying I don't have a lot of emotional melt downs, I do - but generally speaking this process is very slow and I am just kind of watching and waiting to see how it unfolds. That's what I mean by going day by day. I think if I learned anything from my experience is that this is a long process, and change is very slow. As long as I see progress and effort, then I guess I feel a bit more reassured even if I am weary and not really knowing what I believe about all of it yet.

WW/BW BH/WH Turnthepage My Affair DDAY 9/1/2017- 2 month EA/PAHis Affair DDAY 10/10/2020 - 18 month A - EA?/PA

posts: 5922   ·   registered: Jul. 5th, 2017   ·   location: Arizona
id 8615549
Topic is Sleeping.
Cookies on SurvivingInfidelity.com®

SurvivingInfidelity.com® uses cookies to enhance your visit to our website. This is a requirement for participants to login, post and use other features. Visitors may opt out, but the website will be less functional for you.

v.1.000.20210925 2002-2021 SurvivingInfidelity.com® All Rights Reserved. • Privacy Policy