SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

DDay 1 was a year ago. DDay 2 was in February. But every time I dig, I find out something new about how you've been spending our years together. I'm impressed you found the time. This isn't in chronological order, and most of it is new information I've collected over the last couple of months, as I began to realize my attempts at reconciliation weren't working.

You cheated on me:

- A whole lot

- On my birthday

- While I was attending a support group for men that you encouraged me to go to

- While you were dangling the promise of taking me to sex clubs, which you thought would be fun if you were ever "emotionally ready"

- In such a way that resulted in a serious pregnancy scare for you

- After you got caught the first time

- After you got caught the second time

- After you got caught the third time

- While you were lashing out at me, insulting me, and wrecking my confidence

- While telling me how you planned to spend my inheritance from my mother

- While I was desperately trying to locate you after midnight because I was having flashbacks to your bike accident and wondering if you were dead

- While I was cleaning our apartment so your friend could stay with us, a visit during which you ditched her to go fuck your boyfriend

- While feeling sorry for yourself because being in love with a Gemini man is just so hard, you guys

- With a creep I absolutely despise, for more than a year, while lying about it to me hundreds of times, whom you started fucking because he's the ex of your frenemy and you wanted to spite her

- With a dude from our wedding party (before and after he was outed as a serial rapist)

- With an ugly greaseball from New Zealand you met at a rooftop party while I was sick, who later came to our new home and tried to fuck you while you were blackout drunk

- With countless hookups, FWBs, and jerkoff buddies I’ll never know about because you never admit to anything until you’ve been caught dead to rights

- While we were in couple’s counseling

- While you were making concrete plans to fuck our couple's counselor (I'm 99% sure he wouldn't have gone for it - he told you to your face that you have "the emotional maturity of a seven-year-old")

- While you humiliated me to amuse your friends, including people I know fairly well

I guess you've answered all my questions except for "why did you think it was a good idea to give me your cellphone and Instagram logins?" If you wanted to get caught, congrats.

Now you're stuck at your mom's house and you just found out you got exposed to COVID-19. Have a nice life.

[This message edited by FutureAlgae at 5:47 PM, September 15th (Tuesday)]

God. This is beyond terrible. It’s just twisted.

Make use of the resources here. Despite your resolve you may need them.

She is very much in need of a strong response and it looks like you are going that way.

No quarter. No prisoners. No mercy.

This why some people literally hate the person they married.

Makes you wonder why she got married at all.

I’m sorry for you. I hope you are able to heal from this.

It would be awesome if you could someday soon laugh at this bag of awful that's landed on you. You've got some great stories there to tell when you're drinking with your buddies.

That's about as bad a marriage and wife you could ever imagine.

I ... am hesitant to say this. But this woman is plain evil. I'm sorry. You are all the better for for leaving this woman. Empty this soulsucking being out of your life.

When your WS had a LTA there are lots of "events" that occurred that were found out about after DDay. When you dig back to some of those things what were off putting, even mildly, the reality comes out. That is quite a list and, I bet, not complete.

I have quite a list, as well. Mine is not complete but it is long enough. My IC suggested I build it because, even after separation and filing and serving, I had momentary lapses where I wondered if I could actually R with her. She virtually never did the things I asked of her to see if it was worth it to even attempt R. We never got to attempting R.

Keep building your list, if you must. Keep it handy if you feel yourself weakening and you know to do so would cause further damage to you. I haven't looked at my list for a long time, now. But it's there in case I get nostalgic.

I wonder a what point in her life this is all going to come crashing down into her psyche and she realizes what a waist her life has been....

Man FA. You got not only handed a sh*t sandwich but you got it shoved down your throat and reconstituted to eat again. The bright side of this is that when you've spent this long in a dark, damp hell and you finally free yourself from it and breach your life is better than you ever knew it could be. You now have a great future ahead of you. Take advantage of it and make yourself more successful than you've ever been. You're worth the effort. Take care of yourself.

Your ex-wife is going to be a shit show no matter who she is with, where she goes, or how she decides to move forward. Hard for someone this fucked up to get fixed. You my friend, now have the chance to get fixed and move on to a better life.

Don't think this journey will be easy, but it can't be any worst.

Lastly, your moms inheritance is all yours. She can't touch it. Most states keep that separate as far as property goes.

your moms inheritance is all yours. She can't touch it. Most states keep that separate as far as property goes

Laws vary from state. This may not be true based in various factors. Please check with an expert to determine if this inheritance can be considered a marital asset.

We may have been married to the same woman!

Just a reminder - as bad as you feel, you haven't failed - she did.

Her cheating came from her own issues, not from issues with your or your M.

I'm sorry you're going through this, and I know it hurts - but the problem is her, not you.

I am so so sorry. This is completely gutting.

The part that hits me hard is that you are/were trying, and she is just using you up. Its unfortunate that she can’t see what she has/had.

Take time to heal, center yourself, and get back to who you were before her.

I can’t tell you that it gets better, because I’m still trying to figure that out myself. But here’s to hoping! 🤞🏻