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Gottagetthrough (original poster member #27325) posted at 2:36 PM on Saturday, September 5th, 2020
Up early and thinking about how I could be in this situation AGAIN. Wh cheated in 2009-2010 and I took him back, now he’s cheated again.
It’s minimizing. It’s how I’ve gotten through this whole marriage.
It’s because I minimized the whole thing. Wh is a HORRIBLE person who never puts family first and is always out for himself.
I’m so done. 42 days until he’s out.
Chrysalis123 ( member #27148) posted at 2:59 PM on Saturday, September 5th, 2020
What a great realization and step forward. You found your "Why".
Someone I once loved gave me/ a box full of darkness/ It took me years to understand/ That this, too, was a gift. - Mary Oliver
Just for the record darling, not all positive changes feel positive in the beginning -S C Lourie
twicefooled ( member #42976) posted at 4:19 PM on Saturday, September 5th, 2020
Good job. It's better to realize it now and not in another 10 yrs. You are reclaiming your future <3
You've discovered "fool me once shame on you. Fool me once shame on me" and using it to go forth. Best of luck!
May 29 2021 ***reclaimed myself and decided to delete my story with my ex because I'm now 7 years free from him and mentally healthier than I've been in years.
*********When you know better, you can do better*************
skeetermooch ( member #72169) posted at 4:59 PM on Saturday, September 5th, 2020
So sorry you're dealing with this. You're not alone.
Me: BS 56 on DDay 1 - 7/2019 DIVORCED - 1/2021
Gottagetthrough (original poster member #27325) posted at 5:00 PM on Saturday, September 5th, 2020
I keep thinking that “fool me once....” when I want to stay with him. I have three kids, one isn’t a year old! I’d LOVE to work this out. But it’s too big and he will do it again. I told him with the therapist a few weeks ago , “I love you , I HATE to leave, but that gut punch i got when I found out about he PA in 2009? That gut punch when I saw the I love you text in 2019?” Can’t do that again. You broke my heart at 30, broke my heart at 40, I can’t take it at 50.”
[This message edited by Gottagetthrough at 11:01 AM, September 5th (Saturday)]
twicefooled ( member #42976) posted at 8:20 PM on Saturday, September 5th, 2020
That was my ultimate straw that broke the camel's back. I knew I could probably survive, and thrive, after the first one. But the second one killed all of my hope - and without hope, what is there?
I'm 6 years out. My life is incredible now. I enjoy dating, I enjoy being single and living life on my own terms. My children and I are thriving. The ex? Not so much. He hasn't changed at all.
Big hugs. I promise you, you will get through this stronger than ever.
May 29 2021 ***reclaimed myself and decided to delete my story with my ex because I'm now 7 years free from him and mentally healthier than I've been in years.
*********When you know better, you can do better*************
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