SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Help...online dating people that are much more experienced than I!

I went on two dates back in early Jan - clearly no chemistry on either side, so all good.

Put everything on pause for several weeks due to CV19 in mid March.

Started talking to guy #1 for about a week, trying to arrange date. Guy #2 very quickly asks to meet up for a social distancing hike, literally the next day.

I go on hike. Good conversation, attractive, etc. Quick text from him that evening thanks, had a nice time....how would you rate the date on a scale of 1-100? WTH? I honestly respond that I’ve never been asked that question and answer without giving a numerical number. I know that I’m reserving judgement based on guy #1!!

Date with guy #1 yesterday. Great afternoon. Truly did not want it to end. He has to travel this week starting Monday so he says “I’ll wait to hear from you”. I respond, perfect, I’ll reach out.

15 mins later I get a text from him... how would you rate our day today 1-10, pls don’t lie! After a few back/forth, he called and we decided that we both were interested in more.

Have I missed this memo? Seriously, what is this about? Where are the perimeters and sliding scale in some dating handbook? Ugh. I about died.

Date #2 with guy #1 tentatively for Thursday. I’m so confused.

Annie, I agree this is strange and I hope it doesn't catch on. It sounds a little needy and desperate to me. So what if you say 7 but he thinks it was a 6, or vice versa? If you like the guy, maybe say "That's an interesting question. I'm not going to give a number but I can say I had a good time and I'm open to seeing you again." If not, maybe say "Oh it's not about giving grades. Thank you for the coffee. I enjoyed meeting you but I don't think we're a match." But I wouldn't give a certain rating to the date. Just no.

Maybe they’re searching for ego kibbles, wanting you to tell them they’re the best date you’ve ever had.

Try telling the 1-100 guy that out of a hundred dates he ranks #67 and see what he says! A grounded, confident guy would laugh. An insecure guy will get all defensive...and well...insecure!

As for the other guy, he plays it cool...I’ll wait to hear from you...and then just 15 minutes later...he texts! That actually made me laugh. As you said perfect, and then he screwed it up!

Sounds pretty lame to me. The only rating system of a first date for me is: if I thought that the first date went well and would like a second date, does she say yes to a second date. If yes, great; if no, I’ll move on to someone else without pressing for any details beyond what she may volunteer.

Omg I would HATE being put on the spot like that! Cringe cringe cringe

I make it really clear in my profile that I am 100% a serial monogamist (hmmm, wonder why??). And depending how much talk or discussion I usually reconfirm it too, realizing that all dating starts off “casual” of course.

I quickly realized in the span of these two dates, plus a guy #3 wanting to meet that I can’t even do this multi type of dating in the get to know someone phase. How people date 2, 3, etc. at a time is mind boggling to me!

I agree the question felt needy. Which is why I was caught off guard by both asking! At first glance, they do not project that at all. Where they live, car, job, education, hobbies, asking questions and listening, eye contact, family, sense of humor, etc. all seem “normal” on the surface.

Will see how date #2 with guy #1 goes later this week.

I was honest with the other and said I can’t multi date apparently on any level. If he is amenable, we can stay in touch. I know that is saying he is a back up per say, but it is more about a timing thing and my mindset I believe. Not a rating of the date!

Thx.