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Went to dinner this weekend with a beautiful, honest, lovely lady. Kinda happened spur of the moment, but I felt like it was the thing to do. Had a fantastic time and talked about everything. Felt good to be appreciated. I have been doing really well distancing myself from STBX physically and have about 2 weeks until divorce is finalized. However, all paperwork is done and I am good knowing that I can't be married to her anymore. She isn't safe for me and isn't interested in putting in the work that would be necessary to repair our marriage.

I'm finally feeling like there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I got a glimpse of it this weekend.

I really thought that putting myself out there and meeting new people would feel awkward. Instead it seems to be natural and something that I have been missing for a long time. lIntimacy comes in many forms, and I think I've just been missing having someone interested in getting to know me and be interested in me.

It's just nice to feel good and see potential . . . .

I'm glad you had a good time and are moving forward.

Unless you've known her intimately (as a friend) for years, I would caution you not to describe her as honest. You don't know that about her, yet. Enjoy yourself, but don't put all of your faith in her until she has proven herself.

Good luck and have fun out there!

Good point, and well received. Maybe instead of honest, I should say "seemingly open and genuine." It was just really nice to know that I got a good vibe from her. I was worried that I would come out of this thing so grizzled that I couldn't give anyone the benefit of the doubt and would be paranoid about everyone's motives and selfishness. I don't think that is going to be me anymore. I'm still the same guy that gives people the benefit of the doubt. I just got worked over once really badly. Oh well. It didn't kill me, and life seems to be moving on. But you are absolutely correct, I do need to be cautious and aware.

Thanks for the good luck wishes and the thoughts.

Tip of the iceberg like many find out.

Good men are always in demand.

Proceed with caution.

Don’t introduce your kids until you’re sure it’s a good long term relationship.

Don’t fall for the “lets be friends” with the x. Definition of friend is loyal, honest and trustworthy.

No other woman is going to want an x in the mix.

Limit contact to text or email kids only if you want a drama free life. She has her time and you have yours. No engagement is needed.

You control your end and stay out of hers.

Learn to ignore. Exept kid related things

[This message edited by Marz at 1:14 PM, February 17th (Monday)]

FFF, you absolutely can open yourself (and your heart) to new relationships, with no guarantees. And I will agree with you wholeheartedly that regardless of what happens, what you have been through in your marriage will make you much more resilient in the future.

If you haven't already read it, check out my thread below from a week or so ago, "Is this a DDay?". That was my first real relationship post husband. I fell completely in love with him, and he ended up betraying me. Absolutely devastated for several days. Guess what? I woke up today I felt like I had springs on my feet. Onward!! I realize he's just another cheater and I am moving on. I do me.

You will indeed be fine regardless of what happens. I'm excited for your future and what it may hold!!

Kudos to you! That has to feel good. Take it slow and enjoy. There's a book you might be interested in reading. It really transformed the way I look at relationships. It is called Love, Sex, and Lasting Relationships by Chip Ingram. I highly recommend reading it before you get in too far into the dating scene. It can be scary to put yourself out there again after you have been hurt. I am glad you had a positive experience. I also encourage you to join a divorce support group. That was absolutely invaluable I found. There's a program called DivorceCare which has locations all over the U.S. so there's probably one within driving distance for you. I encourage you to google it and check it out. Congratulations again!