I joined SI under the name HitByATrain in (I think) November 2005. I was under the mistaken impression that I was in a happy marriage, but then discovered suspicious emails on my husband's laptop. When I asked him point blank, he
1) Admitted to the physical affair
2) Said that no, he did not love her
3) Said that he loved me
4) Said that he wanted to stay married to me.
He then set about to try undoing some of the damage to me and to our marriage. I decided to ask most of my questions in writing and he answered them that way. One interesting fact that came out was that he was very worried about my health. I had been medically evacuated from the country where we lived in October 2004. My health wasn't great, but not all that bad - managed by medication.
I caught him in an EA (all by phone) with his exwife! This was in April 2007. Again he was worried about my health...I had undiagnosed sleep apnea that made me so very tired all the time.
I demanded of him "Get thee to a counselor" if he wanted to stay married. He did. We did.
In November 2010, he found out he had stage four lung cancer. Because of his affairs, and because of my demands post affairs; his soul was in pretty good shape by then.
Just before he died in January 2013, he asked his best friend to look after me when husband was dead.
Best friend has done his level best to do so! Best friend and I married on Valentine's Day 2014.
This is my fifth marriage, and my happiest one by far!
In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer..Albert Camus--------73 now. Dday #1 was 11/11/05 ***Used to be hit-by-a-train*** Widowed, then VERY happily remarried 2/14/14
