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Newly BS looking for books

Nirvanagirl247 posted 8/10/2018 07:40 AM

I am looking for a book to help me with this new betrayal. How to cope, with this heartbreak, how to try and heal/forgive/R

WH is reading Linda MacDonald and i purchased The State of affairs by Esther Perel, but some other members suggested that i dont read it as her take on infidelity is that it is normal and they definately didnt recommend that i even read one page which i haven't.

Im kind of in avoidance mode as well. Wanna pull the blanket over my head and ignore, but i know that is not the solution if i really want to try and R.

Ive heard good things about Brene Brown...which book is best?

Thank you all ❤

Chaos posted 8/10/2018 10:28 AM

Now, don't dismiss this - I am very serious.

Go to your local library [or if you have children use their bookshelf] and re-read Oh the Places You'll Go by Dr. Seuss

That book has helped me in my healing journey more than any other. It speaks of life and life lessons. It speaks of getting knocked down. It speaks of the Waiting Place. And it speaks of un-stucking yourself when you find yourself well...stuck.

Metaphorically speaking - this book was a life saver.

You will find many recommendations here. The Healing Library recommends great ones. They are filled with great information. Many are available in some form as podcasts. I've listened to days worth. I get good info. from each one.

But my old friend Dr. Seuss - he spoke to my soul.

concordiaburner posted 8/20/2018 14:05 PM

For me, I read "Not Just Friends" by Shirley Glass in the early days and it was very helpful.

I eventually read "The State of Affairs" and I think it is important work to read, but way, way later when you are in the acceptance phase of your recovery and you are in a place where you really want to look at infidelity with your eyes wide open, and no hand holding.

I think the best resource is a podcast, not a book (although I think it being turned into one), which is "Healing Broken Trust". You can put it on when you are feeling low, or go for walks a listen to it. There are a lot of episodes so it isn't something to plough through, just listen to when you feel like you need to "work it".

Itdoesntmatter posted 8/20/2018 15:28 PM

For me, living and loving after betrayal by Steven stosny has been the most helpful one. He has 2 parts YouTube video that goes over the gist of the book.

The healing broken trust podcasts and also relationships alive with Neil Sattin - he has interviews with many therapists you will come across, Gottman, Sue Johnson, Hendrix..

Thissucks5678 posted 8/21/2018 13:35 PM

The Book of Forgiveness is really good if you want to move towards forgiveness.

Women who Love too Much is really good for working on yourself and deals with codependency.

I absolutely LOVE Oh the Places Youíll Go. The message is really go. I second that one. Not Just Friends was pretty good too, although a little triggers. The 5 Love Languages was helpful to work on the marriage.

Iím ready The Body Keeps the Score right now, it is to help with the PTSD.

Good luck.

HardenMyHeart posted 8/23/2018 10:37 AM

For me, I read "Not Just Friends" by Shirley Glass in the early days and it was very helpful.
I second this choice. Here is a related link on this site:
http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=616573

Goldie78 posted 10/13/2018 19:06 PM

Healing from Infidelity by Michele Weiner Davis

josiep posted 10/14/2018 09:54 AM

Oh, phooey - I just typed a whole long thing and somehow hit one of those F keys up top and lost it all. <sigh>

Anyway, my book recommendation is "The Little Soul and the Sun" by Neale Donald Walsch. It's very short but very powerful. It helped me to heal my heart and my soul when nothing else could.

In fact, I think I'll go read it again right now.

Best wishes to you.

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