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I Can Relate :
Support Through Prayer ...Part 3

Topic is Sleeping.
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hihn ( Member #43986) posted at 3:50 AM on Saturday, February 11th, 2017

Please help me pray!!! There is a young mother on S.I. that said she's going to take her life tonight. Please pray for her. Please!

Me BS 58yo, Him WS 55yo, sex addict
DD#1 1/28/14 co-worker#1
DD#2 2/8/14 co-worker#2 9/13 - 4/14
DD#3 4/10/14 22+ anonymous sex OW
Full disclosure 7/30/14 30+ sex parteners,but is more likley 80+

posts: 393   ·   registered: Jul. 5th, 2014   ·   location: colorado, U.S.
id 7782726
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hopefull77 ( Member #43221) posted at 6:05 AM on Saturday, February 11th, 2017

I am praying....but how can we reach her?? We know her pain....but how can we help her realize her kids need her?

me-BS him-WS3 adult childrenmarried a long timeLTA 2010-2012D-day - 11-2012 status - reconciling and very hopeful

" I will not define myself by what went wrong yesterday when I can draw upon Life and Love right now."

posts: 2867   ·   registered: Apr. 24th, 2014   ·   location: sunny california
id 7782778
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needfriendshere ( Member #43350) posted at 6:55 AM on Saturday, February 11th, 2017

Praying too! I pray someone can reach her and help her to realize her children are worth living for. And that they need their. Momma. In Jesus's name. Amen.

Me: early 50's
WH: early 50's
Married: 23 years
DS: 21 years old
Other DS: 18 years old
D-day: 2/14/2014
H's LTA lasted 6 years, his EA's lasted during most of our M, but we are both trying hard to R.

posts: 1542   ·   registered: May. 6th, 2014
id 7782792
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smokenfire ( Member #5217) posted at 2:09 AM on Saturday, February 18th, 2017

Please pray for me, I think I'm having a panic attack.

I left my ex in July of last year. He's most likely a narcissist but even if he's not. He did a real number on my head and was mad abusive. My pastor (who is god filled and lives righteously) told me I needed to leave. My kids told me for years I needed to leave. I've been dealing with all the bottled up anger and what not over the last several months and educating myself in regard to what NPD is, how that works etc.

I am in a state of severe anxiety as I am preparing to file for divorce. What if I'm wrong and this is not what God wants??? I mean I know he's bigger then me and he'll work it out however he pleases as long as I am obedient.

I'm thinking this is not god because God says be anxious for nothing.

I've contacted my pastor. I think it has much to do with I've been away for a long time, my life is on hold at the moment due to family obligations, and I'm not living a “normal” life if that makes sense.

Anyway, thanks, I feel like this is mad urgent at the moment.

Don't food shop when hungry, or date when you're lonely
How others treat you IS a reflection of your SELF worth, but not your actual WORTH.

posts: 9253   ·   registered: Aug. 26th, 2004   ·   location: Central Texas
id 7788992
sad1

Tryingtostayaflo ( New Member #56280) posted at 11:19 PM on Sunday, February 19th, 2017

It's hard most days to find a way out of the darkness, a way from the hell of being betrayed. I honestly don't know how anyone survives this.

posts: 2   ·   registered: Dec. 6th, 2016
id 7790242
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hihn ( Member #43986) posted at 6:14 PM on Wednesday, February 22nd, 2017

He did a real number on my head and was mad abusive. My pastor (who is god filled and lives righteously) told me I needed to leave. My kids told me for years I needed to leave. I've been dealing with all the bottled up anger

I am praying for you. I am trusting in the lord that he will do the same for you as he did for me by undoing that real number (damage) your abusive spouse did to your head. Through his undoing you will gain clarity, confidence & insight into who you really are (not what others may say you are) plus living God filled & righteously. By the way I am concluding that if the pastor told you to leave your spouse that your spouse was making things very bad for you. Generally speaking telling someone to leave their spouse is the last thing a pastor would say. As far as your bottled up anger, you have come to the right place (SI). Unbottle that anger here, let it out here, we understand the anger and where it came from. I guarantee you some of your anger is also righteous anger for what has been done to you by another or others. Having been in your shoes with an (emotionally) abusive spouse and his FOO (also abusive)for 25 years I have some experience in the area of abusers at least emotional ones. Don't feel guilty for letting out that angry in a nonviolent way... don't go out and shoot someone or beat someone up... vent your anger here, it really does help. You are in my prayers, Love Hihn

Me BS 58yo, Him WS 55yo, sex addict
DD#1 1/28/14 co-worker#1
DD#2 2/8/14 co-worker#2 9/13 - 4/14
DD#3 4/10/14 22+ anonymous sex OW
Full disclosure 7/30/14 30+ sex parteners,but is more likley 80+

posts: 393   ·   registered: Jul. 5th, 2014   ·   location: colorado, U.S.
id 7792832
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PinkJeepLady ( Member #37575) posted at 6:03 AM on Tuesday, February 28th, 2017

(((Tryingtostayaflo))) I hear your struggle with finding a way out of the darkness, it's a darkness like no other isn't it? I too struggled and felt so hopeless in the beginning.

I want to let you know that there is much hope to survive this nightmare. My prayers shortly after dday were loud pleadings really, begging God to help me make it through each day. I would urge you to turn to God and let him take some of your burden. Tell him exactly how you feel. He loves you and wants you to not only survive but to find peace and happiness again, no matter the outcome of your relationship.

One way my prayers were answered was by finding SI, about 4 months into R. I found such support and valuable information here, I don't think I could have made it without SI. I have been blessed to connect with others who really understand what I was going through and gave me excellent advice when I needed it.

I hope we can chat again, I would be glad to pass on some specific ideas on how to survive. Prayers for you tonight, that you will get the support you need to survive this, please take care and hang on!

Me: BW Him: FWH
DDay June 1st 2012
cheated with prostitutes overseas
Reconciled

posts: 747   ·   registered: Nov. 21st, 2012   ·   location: Out West
id 7797518
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PinkJeepLady ( Member #37575) posted at 9:02 PM on Tuesday, March 14th, 2017

Just thinking of you all and sending a little prayer up for PEACE. God, please help our hearts to heal and our minds to be calm. May our lives be peaceful today.

I am going to get out of my office right now for a little walk and enjoy the blessings of sunshine, mountains and clean air to breathe!

Have a blessed day!

Me: BW Him: FWH
DDay June 1st 2012
cheated with prostitutes overseas
Reconciled

posts: 747   ·   registered: Nov. 21st, 2012   ·   location: Out West
id 7808844
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needfriendshere ( Member #43350) posted at 6:32 AM on Wednesday, March 15th, 2017

I, too, am praying for you all right now.

If you are coming under the kind of attack I am, God help you all.

I came upon a message OW sent me last April that was so cruel, and so damaging. I read it like an idiot and then proceeded to re-read several of the messages she has sent me. Messages containing texts my H had sent her and promises he made her continuously during their 6-year A. And now? Now I feel sick and find myself wondering if this supposedly loving and remorseful man I'm married to isn't some kind of sociopath. I see him sleeping beside me and am tempted to wake him and tell him to get out of my life. And to go back to her.

I really, really don't understand all this SI talk about unicorns and La La Land and the fog. About what our FWS's said and did being part of some fantasy that they woke up from when we found out.

What I do know is that my H did and especially said some extremely hurtful things. They were horrible. And I have to think that, at the time, he meant them. I tell you, I could never spend the rest of my life with someone I felt the way my H supposedly did about me. I don't know what is real and what isn't. This man I am with or the one who was "with" her.

I pray for eyes that can see the truth. I pray for wisdom and discernment to know what is real and what is just an attempt to be the man he thinks he should be.

I pray you are experiencing peace tonight and are nowhere near the rabbit hole I have plunged myself into.

Me: early 50's
WH: early 50's
Married: 23 years
DS: 21 years old
Other DS: 18 years old
D-day: 2/14/2014
H's LTA lasted 6 years, his EA's lasted during most of our M, but we are both trying hard to R.

posts: 1542   ·   registered: May. 6th, 2014
id 7809248
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hopefull77 ( Member #43221) posted at 6:59 AM on Wednesday, March 15th, 2017

((((NFH)))))

I am so sorry....I will pray for you...

I will pray for us all and our peace of minds...

me-BS him-WS3 adult childrenmarried a long timeLTA 2010-2012D-day - 11-2012 status - reconciling and very hopeful

" I will not define myself by what went wrong yesterday when I can draw upon Life and Love right now."

posts: 2867   ·   registered: Apr. 24th, 2014   ·   location: sunny california
id 7809258
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hopefull77 ( Member #43221) posted at 1:59 PM on Wednesday, March 15th, 2017

I received this yesterday and wanted to share...I know we all feel at times that even just getting out of bed can be a chore...

This is about Sorrow by Fr. Ron Rohlheiser....

Walking Away Out of Sorrow

What do we do when we’re depressed? What’s our temptation when a dream is shattered, when we feel betrayed, and when it seems like the trust we’ve shown someone was childish naivetŽ?

Generally the temptation is to gather what pride we have left and walk away, away from that person, away from that place of rejection, away from the humiliation, and away from our former dream, all the while saying to ourselves: “I’ll never trust in this way again! I’ve been burned, taken in, I now know the lesson!”

And, as we walk away from the place where we got hurt, what do we invariably walk towards?

We walk towards human consolation, towards compensation, towards something that looks like it will alleviate the hurt, soothe our wounded pride, or at least distract us from the pain. Sometimes, in fact, we’re so wounded that what we walk towards is simple bitterness and despair. We unconsciously turn our backs on energy, family, community, happiness, faith, trust, and God. Life isn’t worth living, why try!

In Luke’s Gospel, we see this in the story of two, dispirited, disciples walking from away from Jerusalem towards Emmaus on Easter Sunday morning, unaware that Jesus had risen from the dead. Luke writes that on the morning of the Resurrection “two disciples were walking away from Jerusalem toward Emmaus, a village some seven miles away, their faces downcast.”

Every word is pregnant here: For Luke, “Jerusalem” is more than a city. For him, it means the church, it means our faith-dream, and it means the place where Jesus was crucified (the place of pain, betrayal, crucified dreams, humiliation, and shame). On Easter Sunday, he tells us, two disciples were walking away from that, namely, they were leaving the church, leaving their faith dream, and walking away from the place where they felt that dream had ended in shame. Moreover they were walking towards “Emmaus”. What is “Emmaus”?

Scholars tell us that there were several places called Emmaus, but they suspect that the one referred to here was a Roman Spa, a resort of sorts, a place of human consolation, the Las Vegas of that day. Thus, these disciples were doing what we invariably do when we get hurt, walk away from the hurt towards human consolation, towards something will take the pain away or at least distract us from it.

And they were doing this out of depression; their dream had been crucified when Jesus died. Indeed, when they describe their faith to Jesus, they use the past perfect tense: “We had hoped.” Their dream is over, dead. So is their faith.

So this is the scene: Two dejected disciples are leaving the church and walking towards human compensation because their dream has been shattered by the shame and humiliation of the cross. Their dream is over and they are now walking inside the sadness that besets us whenever we feel betrayed, shamed, found to be naive in our trust.

It is because of this sadness that they cannot recognize Jesus when he appears to them on the road. Jesus walks with them and they can’t recognize him. Why?

The answer to that lies in the Agony in the Garden. In Luke’s description of this, when Jesus goes out into the Garden of Gethsemane to pray he tells his disciples: “Watch!” They’re supposed to learn something by watching him. What they were supposed to learn was what Jesus himself learned, or at least learned to accept, in Gethsemane, namely, that there is no other way to glory except through humiliation, no other way to new life except through death, no other way to intimacy except through unspeakable loneliness, and no other way to the light of Easter Sunday except through the darkness of Good Friday.

This is what Jesus had to accept, on his knees and begging for an alternative, in Gethsemane. But, as Luke tells us, after Jesus comes to accept this, he turns towards his disciples and finds them asleep, not out of simple tiredness, but “out of sheer sorrow”. They were too depressed to get the lesson.

This is a mystical image worth meditating. Like these dispirited disciples in Luke’s Gospel, we too, when faced with the kind of pain that brings us to our knees in agony and humiliation, too often are too discouraged and too disheartened to grasp the lesson that’s being taught. We “fall asleep out of sheer sorrow” and then, in our sadness and discouragement, we feel tempted to walk away from what’s hurting us and move instead towards some human consolation, towards something in the world that promises earthly compensation to replace our crucified dream of faith.

The good news is that Jesus finds us on that road and turns us around so that, like the disciples, we never actually get to Emmaus. Instead, after re-reading the scriptures and breaking the bread, we regain our vision and our idealism and find the courage to again return to our faith and to our church.

me-BS him-WS3 adult childrenmarried a long timeLTA 2010-2012D-day - 11-2012 status - reconciling and very hopeful

" I will not define myself by what went wrong yesterday when I can draw upon Life and Love right now."

posts: 2867   ·   registered: Apr. 24th, 2014   ·   location: sunny california
id 7809369
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steadychevy ( Member #42608) posted at 2:30 PM on Wednesday, March 15th, 2017

Thanks, hopefull. A good read early in the morning.

BH(me)70; XWW 64; M 42 yrs
DDay1-01/09/13;DDay2-26/10/13;DDay3-19/12/13;DDay4-21/01/14
LTA-09/02-06/06? OM - COW
"dates" w/3 lovers post engagement;ONS w/stranger post commitment, lies, lies, lies
Separated 23/09/2017; D 16/03/2020

posts: 4660   ·   registered: Feb. 27th, 2014   ·   location: Canada
id 7809386
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PinkJeepLady ( Member #37575) posted at 2:35 PM on Wednesday, March 15th, 2017

Thanks indeed for sharing that Hopeful! A beautiful and profound message. Will have to reread later.

(((NFH))) so hard to be hit with a trigger like that. I had a strong one a couple weeks ago. I don't know that we will ever understand all this craziness in this life. I am almost 5 years out and things are going pretty good, but I have those moments where I just am so disgusted and question what I am going here with him. How can I love a person capable of inflicting so much devastation and pain? Ugh. Yah, that darn rabbit hole! All I can say is that now I get out quicker?

I believe in the power of prayer and appreciate all your prayers in my behalf! I am so thankful that somehow I have managed to keep my faith in God through this. It surely is what has carried me through.

Me: BW Him: FWH
DDay June 1st 2012
cheated with prostitutes overseas
Reconciled

posts: 747   ·   registered: Nov. 21st, 2012   ·   location: Out West
id 7809392
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needfriendshere ( Member #43350) posted at 3:08 PM on Wednesday, March 15th, 2017

Thank you Hopeful and PinkJeepLady, for your encouragement.

I loved the reading you shared, Hopeful. It is very true. If it wasn't for the Lord, I would not be here now. Of that I am certain. When I turn to Him, things invariably end up going well with my soul. It's what I eventually did last night. And I got some good sleep. I believe it is His will that H and I stay together. I need to be obedient to Him. And trust that things will turn out ok. I guess I will never really understand my H this side of heaven. I guess I don't really have to.

SteadyCheavy, nice to see you here. Praying you are doing well these days. Just said a prayer for you all.

Me: early 50's
WH: early 50's
Married: 23 years
DS: 21 years old
Other DS: 18 years old
D-day: 2/14/2014
H's LTA lasted 6 years, his EA's lasted during most of our M, but we are both trying hard to R.

posts: 1542   ·   registered: May. 6th, 2014
id 7809413
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Ginac ( Member #56902) posted at 3:38 PM on Wednesday, March 15th, 2017

I have been using guided meditation to pray several times a day. It has saved my life.

I know that God has placed a blanket of protection around me to make this heartache manageable. When it isn't manageable, he takes over.

Dear Lord, please protect and minister your healing to all members of this site. Help to bring them peace.

Lord, please continue to help me grow in my marriage, let me be open and more giving of my time and words of kindness.

God, please help my husband to find answers and make peace with his past as he undergoes hypnosis for childhood sexual abuse.

Lord, lead us to a place where faith and trust can be restored. Let it be a timely process, and lead us not to rush it. Help us to hang on to this new loving bonding time, but let it mellow a bit to a golden, lasting understanding.

Lord, help us to make a new, better union with you as our center.

Let us love one another as you wish us to love one another.

I believe it is your will that we work hard to remain together.

Thank you for your great love and loving us when we find it hard to love ourselves.

God, I love you and am so grateful for you. Please help me to remain steadfast and never turn my back upon you again. I was lost for many years, but you were always right by my side.

In Jesus' name,

Amen

[This message edited by Ginac at 9:41 AM, March 15th (Wednesday)]

me:BS Married 30 years to WS
Dday 12/16/16
Multiple affairs.
Attempting Rebuilding

posts: 227   ·   registered: Jan. 14th, 2017   ·   location: Limbo
id 7809439
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BrokenheartedWif ( Member #40955) posted at 5:32 AM on Monday, March 20th, 2017

((Needfriendshere)) I got busy and haven't been on SI for several days.

Hopeful77 thank you for sharing.

Ginac thank you for the prayers.

I've been reading a New book called "Unsinkable Faith" by Tracie Miles and will let you know more as I go through it. I'm finding it thought provoking and helpful.

Adultery messes with our minds and leaves so many areas that we question ourselves about . I don't run as quickly or mindfully as I should to God when I have a trigger or take a leap into the rabbit hole. Scripture tells me to take it and leave it at the foot of Jesus cross and to let Him renew my mind daily. I forget to do that, yet can go down rabbit holes when triggered. Ugh!

He claims he loved me the whole time of his LTA. I'm not sure I'll survive his kind of love. Whorena The Cumdumpster pretended to be my friend the entire time as well. I'll take an enemy any day of the week.

posts: 934   ·   registered: Oct. 11th, 2013   ·   location: Central IN
id 7813479
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Appletree ( Member #40581) posted at 9:28 AM on Monday, March 20th, 2017

Need prayer please

Pm's from ladies ok.

Feeling really really down tonight.

Really lonely

Discouraged.

Been sick for 3 weeks on top of it

Dd is seeming depressed on top of it and also needs prayer

Even though I hope in the Lord, just really despairing tonight.

Married 18 yrs
Husband PA 2013, PA Aug 2016 to Jan 2017, EA/PA June 2017 to June 2018
Not sleeping together
2 kids,

posts: 145   ·   registered: Sep. 6th, 2013
id 7813522
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needfriendshere ( Member #43350) posted at 11:20 AM on Monday, March 20th, 2017

(((Appletree)))

Dear Lord, I pray Appletree can find that peace that passes understanding. Be with her and her daughter and bring them clarity and healing. Let them know that you are with them throughout their struggles. Amen.

Me: early 50's
WH: early 50's
Married: 23 years
DS: 21 years old
Other DS: 18 years old
D-day: 2/14/2014
H's LTA lasted 6 years, his EA's lasted during most of our M, but we are both trying hard to R.

posts: 1542   ·   registered: May. 6th, 2014
id 7813550
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steadychevy ( Member #42608) posted at 2:06 PM on Monday, March 20th, 2017

Praying for internal strength through the Lord for Appletree and DD. Strength of mind and clarity of thought. Trust in the Lord (Ishould listen to my own advice).

BH(me)70; XWW 64; M 42 yrs
DDay1-01/09/13;DDay2-26/10/13;DDay3-19/12/13;DDay4-21/01/14
LTA-09/02-06/06? OM - COW
"dates" w/3 lovers post engagement;ONS w/stranger post commitment, lies, lies, lies
Separated 23/09/2017; D 16/03/2020

posts: 4660   ·   registered: Feb. 27th, 2014   ·   location: Canada
id 7813648
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BrokenheartedWif ( Member #40955) posted at 3:54 AM on Tuesday, March 21st, 2017

Just saw your post Appletree praying for you and your DD.

He claims he loved me the whole time of his LTA. I'm not sure I'll survive his kind of love. Whorena The Cumdumpster pretended to be my friend the entire time as well. I'll take an enemy any day of the week.

posts: 934   ·   registered: Oct. 11th, 2013   ·   location: Central IN
id 7814387
Topic is Sleeping.
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