Topic is Sleeping.
crushedinpa (original poster member #46787) posted at 7:57 PM on Monday, March 16th, 2015
Does anyone on here have a recommendation for any books that help teach couples to communicate better one after infidelity would be even better. Thanks.
Me 47: BS
Him 47: WS
M 22 yrs with 1 DD (age 17) and 13 year old twin DS
D-Day 1/28/2015 (1.5 mos. affair) EA/some PA (his TT story)
In R (I think)
rachelc ( member #30314) posted at 2:50 PM on Tuesday, March 17th, 2015
I think anything by Gottman would be good.
He has a workbook out there that couples can do together along with a book.
demeter ( member #46452) posted at 5:02 PM on Tuesday, March 17th, 2015
Husband's IC just recommended "Hold Me Tight" by Dr. Sue Johnson to us. We don't have it yet but it's on the way.
Agree with rachelc too, Gottman has a bunch. We also have "10 Lessons to Transform Your Marriage" by him on the way.
Me: BS 51 Him: FWS 57 (iasion)
Together 22 yrs, M 20 yrs, no kids
Dday 11/11/14
PA 4 meetings between 96 and 2006
emails, pages, letters, calls
crushedinpa (original poster member #46787) posted at 6:09 PM on Tuesday, March 17th, 2015
Demeter which "Hold Me Tight" book, amazon has two by her?
Me 47: BS
Him 47: WS
M 22 yrs with 1 DD (age 17) and 13 year old twin DS
D-Day 1/28/2015 (1.5 mos. affair) EA/some PA (his TT story)
In R (I think)
demeter ( member #46452) posted at 8:31 PM on Tuesday, March 17th, 2015
The one the IC had was the older one, so that is the one I purchased. I could never figure out if they were the same book or not and that one was just a reissue. The titles are a bit different though. I'd go with the older one, that seems to be the one the counselors all have.
Me: BS 51 Him: FWS 57 (iasion)
Together 22 yrs, M 20 yrs, no kids
Dday 11/11/14
PA 4 meetings between 96 and 2006
emails, pages, letters, calls
demeter ( member #46452) posted at 8:34 PM on Tuesday, March 17th, 2015
Went and looked at the exact title. Hold me tight: 7 conversations for a lifetime of love
Me: BS 51 Him: FWS 57 (iasion)
Together 22 yrs, M 20 yrs, no kids
Dday 11/11/14
PA 4 meetings between 96 and 2006
emails, pages, letters, calls
HardenMyHeart ( member #15902) posted at 9:18 PM on Wednesday, March 18th, 2015
For me, the best communication skill I have learned is "Shut up and listen". This skill also seems to work well for friends and family too.
In all seriousness, the book I found useful was: The Secrets of Happily Married Men: Eight Ways to Win Your Wife's Heart Forever by Scott Haltzman
It's not a "couples" book per se, but it really helped me to communicate better with my wife from a male perspective.
My wife read the Women's version of this book and she said it was helpful as well.
Me: BH, Her: WW, Married 40 years, Reconciled
onlytime ( member #45817) posted at 1:28 PM on Thursday, March 19th, 2015
WH and I have just finished reading "10 Lessons to Transform Your Marriage" by Gottman. I highly, highly recommend this one. Each chapter has quizzes and exercises that really help you to start communicating better. Not only did this book allow us to see where the issues in communication were coming from but it also helped to start meaningful dialogue between us.
We initially borrowed this from our local library but made the decision to buy it so we can refer back to it anytime we feel we may be slipping back into old patterns of communicating.
R'd w/ BetterFuture13
T 20+ yrs w/ adult kids 😇 + grands
"The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall" ~Nelson Mandela
crushedinpa (original poster member #46787) posted at 2:05 PM on Thursday, March 19th, 2015
Thank you for your input, I truly appreciate it. 
Me 47: BS
Him 47: WS
M 22 yrs with 1 DD (age 17) and 13 year old twin DS
D-Day 1/28/2015 (1.5 mos. affair) EA/some PA (his TT story)
In R (I think)
Topic is Sleeping.
