I asked in General to start up Part 14 here.
I have posted here before but not too much.
X is NPD. My IC has said he's likely NPD but since she has never met him she can't difinitively diagnose him.
I know he fits the description.
So, after 12 years common law and 2 kids he starts and EA with his former girlfriend who happens to live in Switzerland and has a husband and son.
EA turns to PA about three weeks before Dday.
I find out about it about 3 months after the reconnection since he has started to travel to other countries and saying it's for work but he does not travel for work.
Find the texts.
She has the same first name as me.
We do in house for 5 months while he still travels to see her.
No offer of R.
Tells me all he did was fall in love for the first time in his life.
Tells me he deserves to do this because he wasn't happy.
He moves out and basically ignores the kids.
Tells me I'm the best person to take care of them and that he has his own life now.
The kids never have to be exposed the the OW since he travels to see her.
He was gone for Christmas for the last 3 years.
He was gone to Germany for a month and only called them 3 times.
He lived 5 minutes away and rarely called and usually saw them about once a week.
Visitation was calculated at 5% for the past 3 years.
Now fast forward to June. He quit his job here and moved to Switzerland to be with her. She divorced her husband in 2013 and last July Dumb ass and her got engaged.
I knew it would happen and have been trying to prepare the kids. They are "meh" about him being gone. One said "we hardly got to see him anyway"
Now to the NPD behaviour.
He sent them emails almost every day since he was gone June 27th. The girls are twins and he writes the emails like he is writing to only one but copies both of them. Example: Hello my sweet lovely princess. To both of them. Not princesses, princess: singular.
One responds regularly but the other doesn't because she thought if her sister was responding she didn't have to. He talks about his commute to work and how much he misses them and he hopes they will come visit him there. He talks about how tired he is but will still lift weights before going to bed, etc.
He came back here on July 19th. He took the kids for the day with his "fiancee" and her son. Took them to the movies last night. Told the kids he was here for a few days. He actually is here for 3 weeks but will vacation with the whore for 2 weeks somewhere.
I asked him why he is paying so much attention to them now. Where was he for the last 3 years? What was his focus the last 3 years? What did he think would happen if he moved to another freakin' CONTINENT!!!??
Is there a point where the NPD can try to show he values someone after de-valuing them?
I understand he is just looking for ego kibbles from the kids.
Why was he not looking for them before?
Does this mean he is devaluing the OW now since he got her and now he is getting bored?
I'm just really pissed off that after 3 years I have been flipped upside down again and I have to get used to him wanting to see the kids and the insta family will be a part of that desire.
I want to throw up.
[This message edited by Lola2kids at 12:25 PM, July 23rd (Wednesday)]