I’m so sorry Lonely.
I’m glad you moved. It will help.
Relationships are not perfect and know one can be perfect in them.
If your ex was with this guy instead of you the relationship with him would have also been over. Probably before yours, probably with a much worse outcome for her.
You were way too nice to her and you actually kind of eased her into this new relationship.
You def played the pick me dance. That’s why the advice here is harsh.
But let’s say you won her back and she was with you now. You would still be un-happy just in a different way.
In your last post you said you were still talking to her.
Stop it. Business only. Your text should be real short and to the point. Basically it should only be about finances for your kids and once they’re out of school you should almost never see or speak to her again.
Why would you want to. When you reach indifference you won’t want to.
You don’t know each other any more and you will never be friends.
Your kids are old enough to work out their own visitation with her.
Never let her come to your new place. Don’t let her taint it with her presence.
Also you need to move on and get to a place of indifference with her but you do not have to forgive her. That’s some bulls&$t.
What she did was evil and should never be forgiven.
It’s also ok to sit with your sons and make it clear to her that she will never bring him to any family functions period.
The man who destroyed your family can never be welcomed as family. It’s perfectly ok for her to face a permanent consequence for her actions.
As for her new relationships.
There is no magic. Yours was a routine, safe comfortable relationship. Instead of working on it like she should she reverted to a 16 year old, Got attracted to a sack of s&$t and is living like a child again.
There is nothing unique about her situation.
A relationship expert named Ester Perel says women are attracted to the "forbidden"
Cheating on you increased the excitement and made this relationship more powerful than it would have been if she was single and just met him on tinder. And because you were still fighting with her and talking with her and trying to get her to come back she did not really face real consequences and you made the transition easier. That is where you messed up. She bought him a PlayStation 5 if I remember correctly. When she should have been bored she was calling and fighting with you. Like I said you made her transition easier.
She is probably not as happy as she seems and consequences will probably really start hitting her now. I believe you said before she was drinking and partying more and spending more money. She will be sorry.
The problem is you may never see it in full. Don’t listen to social media. I could tell you some stories. Social media lies constantly.
She gave up a lot for this relationship and if you’re 50 then she is older. She is going to try everything to make this work. She has too.
She doesn’t want it to end and sit their like a dumbass for throwing her family away. So she is going to put in a lot of effort to make this work.
It could take years but She will be sorry.
And you ain’t waiting around.
Don’t dwell on old memories. It’s time to make new ones.
There is a saying. The best revenge is a life well lived.
Make sure you are getting into shape. It’s so important. Exercise and getting your finances in order are your 2 top priorities. Also update your wardrobe.
Start looking for some fun hobbies to do.
Maybe a side hustle for a little cash to have fun with.
Work on something a little everyday. With time it will get better.
Go into dating with the expectation to have fun. If you’re having fun a woman will want to join you.
Leave the past behind my friend. It’s dead and gone.
One day at a time.