Hello to all and welcome to the new folks. Hugs all around, and I've missed you guys! It's time for my (seemingly all I can manage) yearly update.
Well.... where to start? My XNPD is still alive and kicking at 3 years out, looking and acting the same as ever, so it's very doubtful he really did have cancer. Glad I didn't push my youngest into contact out of guilt.
Speaking of which, my youngest will be 18 in less than 2 weeks, and is doing wonderfully well. He is at the top of his class, as a junior, and has a major university looking to draw him in. We want a different one, just because it's a better fit. They would let him graduate at the beginning of next year, but he wants to use all the free education he can get. Smart boy. But he's finally seeing his true worth, and for that I am most grateful. He has a plan in place should my X come calling.
My next oldest got engaged at the end of last year to a beautiful, sweet girl I adore. She surprised us all by getting pregnant a couple months ago, and my son is scared to death. He's going to be a fabulous daddy, but he worries about supporting his family. Hardest working kid in the company, and he's worried. The ultrasound made him SEE his future, and he's just doing the first time daddy freakout. It's pretty cute, actually. He's never been speechless before.
My oldest is finally coming to grips with his own issues, and taking medication for his ADHD! I think his two girls' first words being cuss words had something to do with it. But he's really growing these days, seeing things how they really are, and not running from them anymore.
My greatest joy right now is that all 3 boys are finally healing from the things they went through, and spending time together as real brothers, instead of fighting and blaming. The rift has begun to close, and watching them laugh and have fun is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I did not think they'd ever be close again.
As for me, I've been in IC for 2 years now, and learning to live again. I was a victim, then a survivor... and now I live. I take no crap from anyone - which has cost me a few times, including my ex bff - but losing people who want to treat me badly is surprisingly comfortable and a definite blessing. Living without constant judgment is a truly freeing thing.
I am a licensed concealed weapon carrier who is absolutely lethal to targets. Hopefully, when my training evolves into moving targets, I'll be as good in that arena.
My life is finally fully in my control, and I am doing fine. My health issues are still there, but they pale in comparison to where I was headed a few short years ago. So I'll deal with them.
For those who know me, I am fine. So very fine. Life is hard with physical problems, but life in my family is perfect.
For those who joined since last I was here.... keep moving forward. You CAN get through. I would've been the last to believe I could do it, but somewhere, buried under all the bs, was a ME I truly enjoy being. You will make it, if you keep going. Don't stop till you're free!
I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!