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marji ( member #49356) posted at 3:44 AM on Monday, June 19th, 2017
Wondering if your H does things that trigger your sadness/anger and if so what he is doing to stop. My H is remorseful, has ceased all acting out, does try to help and usually shows caring, empathy but then bang! he ll lose his temper over some ridiculous, trivial thing and . . . well, let's just say it doesn't help. His therapist, our therapist, keeps trying to work on these . . .well outbursts, tantrums, anger management issues . . .
I do not share his outbursts or as now I see them, his crazies, with others--but they can have me feeling poorly for days after.
If it is some sort of behavior that your H is indulging in that influences your feelings (and how can it not) then maybe he needs to be doing better work and maybe you have to do more distancing?
Inveigled ( member #53970) posted at 5:05 AM on Monday, June 19th, 2017
Hi JIMA. I have no advice to give. I just want you to know you've been heard and I am right there with you. You're not alone. I think these same thoughts. I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I get it. I'm almost 2 years out and I still totally, completely get it. You're in my thoughts.
Him: SA
Me: BW
DDay: July 2015 with months of TT
bionicgal ( member #39803) posted at 2:55 PM on Monday, June 19th, 2017
Honey, we have all walked through that valley of darkness.
I had moments, days, and even weeks where the pain was unmanageable. Yet, it passed. At first, it was big, crashing waves where I'd get sucked under and panic and scramble for breath.
Later, smaller waves, where I was able to mostly stay afloat. I'd like to say I learned to surf - but that is too trite; I still get sucked under sometimes. Now, at 4 years out, it is more like ripples hitting the beach, with an occasional surprise. It gets so much better. Hang in there.
me - BS (45) - DDay - June 2013
A was 2+ months, EA/PA
In MC & Reconciling
"Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point to move forward." -- C.S. Lewis.
Lucidiylost ( member #56930) posted at 9:55 PM on Monday, June 19th, 2017
Your post just made the tears stream...I am feeling exactly the same. 5 months out . Exhausted, sad, hopeless.
My name should read Luciditylost. I have not only lost the man I thought I married, but apparently also my ability to spell
Me: BS
Him: WS
GatorFool ( new member #58563) posted at 10:04 PM on Monday, June 19th, 2017
My advise is to educate herself as much as you can, read other people's posts and understand you are not alone, and use your experience and reach out to others by posting your advice on their threads. I hope by posting this it helps you, it has already helped me.
We are here for you.
Jesusismyanchor (original poster member #58708) posted at 5:09 AM on Tuesday, June 20th, 2017
I am starting to pull back up. I am determined. The pain just always seems to be there on some levelbit I did feel like I was being pulled under the waves again. It was overwhelming. It has been a bad 5 days. I am exhausted and tired of hurting. Thanks for being there for me with compassion and hope.
Hebrews 6:19
We have this hope (Jesus Christ) as an anchor to the soul, firm and secure.
Jeremiah 29:11- For I know the plans I have for you, plans to give you hope and a future
Notthevictem ( member #44389) posted at 10:58 PM on Monday, June 26th, 2017
BH
DDAY Mar 2014
Widowed 2022 - breast cancer
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