SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I am a later stage guy myself, but would check when the last time an independent valuation (409a equivalent) or prior round was done. I agree if a new round closes in the next 2-4 months that you could argue for that being the current valuation assuming no material changes to the business (new patent issued, large new customer contracted, new comp in the market at a higher multiple etc). That said, early stage valuations are obviously more volatile (typical valuations method like DCF have low weighting vs options based pricing models and comps).

Soon2be is going to need information from the company and hopefully they will cooperate without having to have a legal battle to procure. His counsel needs to get the diligence list ready to go in prep for a potential divorce filing. Will be important to game plan potential responses if things get acrimonious.

And yeah @BluerThanBlue, I've been thinking about that quite a bit. When she has to travel, and it's her custody time, should I step in to take the kids rather than leave them with their grandparents? Seems like I still end up subsidizing her work

I think you should take the kids when she is away on business, but don’t think of it as subsidizing her work— think of it as being the one parent your kids have who puts them first, which is what they need. Your kids get only one shot at a childhood before they become adults. They will remember who showed up and who didn’t.

I didn’t have kids with my ex, but a lot of people who had kids with their cheaters and got divorced actually found that life got easier without a selfish, overgrown child around who was stealing oxygen away from the rest of the family. I suspect that will be your experience as well.

I think your first order of business after filing for divorce is to spend some time thinking about your hopes, dreams, and aspirations for the future. You’ve spent so many years championing her goals that you very likely put your own on the shelf.

When she has to travel, and it's her custody time, should I step in to take the kids rather than leave them with their grandparents? Seems like I still end up subsidizing her work...

Discuss with your attorney first, haven't the slightest idea regarding Spanish law but no matter what document everything regarding your children in the upcoming months, no matter how slight the issue is. Do not be obvious about it in front of your WW but document, document, and document to hand over to your attorney while the divorce proceeds. I don't think it would hurt you in the divorce if you documented how many times your wife asks you to watch the children because she wasn't able to but again consult with your attorney.

If this job is so important to her then let her go, but make sure she knows that choosing her job means she no longer has a family and she no longer has access to you unless it has to do with your child. Maybe you moving forward with having her served divorce papers and no longer interacting with her might be the kick she needs to realize how selfish she has been assuming you could even forgive her at this point. If it doesn’t wake her up then you’ll know divorce was the right decision!

Just wanted to say I'm really very sorry for you. It is awful to be devalued like that by the person that you loved the most. I think that a lot of it may originate in vanity. Your wife is not the first victim of their own success. Combined with cheating it is a true delusion generator. I think some posters may be right that she thinks that she is putting you in your place and hasn't considered the reality of divorce. How are you feeling with all of this?

[This message edited by Itiswhatitis000 at 12:14 AM, Wednesday, October 7th]

Equal distribution in divorce does not mean everything is split in half. It’s not like you get three dining room tables and half the table with two legs, and she get’s three and the other half of the table. Or that you get the FO part of the Ford, and she get’s the RD. It’s basically a starting point for negotiations.

The startup might be valuable, but there are also ways to make it worthless. Even worse for you – maybe her solution for an equal distribution might just be that you get shares making you a powerless owner in a company that might be sold in the future. Fancy going to shareholders meetings and seeing your ex and her new partner every year?

Plus it’s a very delicate business concept if it relies so heavily on the content of one man’s brain. Considering the number of startups that don’t really start up, it might be to your advantage to capitalize on her belief in the startup as a bargaining chip in the division of assets. If this then all works out to her brightest dreams and she becomes a multimillionaire six years after you sign the divorce papers, then great for your kids and their Christmas presents, but you have moved on. If it fails… you will be out anyways.

What you can do is use the fact the company is valuable to her to get a more advantageous deal on other marital assets. Things like retaining your pension untouched, lion’s share of savings, getting the equity in the family home, avoiding spousal support (or getting spousal support…). Might be up to that sort of deal, seeing as OM is separated and she can easily move in with him once out of the marital house.