Missmee (original poster member #86349) posted at 10:38 AM on Friday, September 11th, 2026
Not sure where to post this. I’m still in the same position as I’ve been for a year now. It’s coming up to a year since he walked out to be with the AP. Came back in the October. But contact that I’m aware of didn’t end till June 2026, only texts calls etc no physical contact. But who knows. I don’t believe anything that he says at all. We have good and bad days more bad than good.
We had a conversation this morning that I want to share for your opinions. I feel what was said he was trying to justify and blame shift. But I need an outsider to give me their thoughts please.
I asked partner why he had an affair and told partner this morning I don’t think I can countiue the relationship anymore.
He responded with he wasn’t happy with the relationship I didn’t appreciate him, and different things. And instead of dealing with them he has rug swept the issues. Because I would have just asked him to leave. I asked him to identify the issues I had him before his affair and he was able to acknowledge them but didn’t change.
He said if we hadn’t of had so many children and I would have gone out to work he doesn’t think we would have lasted 20 years.
He also said if he would have ended our relationship instead of having an affair I wouldn’t have fought as hard as I did for him during his affair.
I don’t really know what to make of it. I’m not sure if I’m triggered and spiralling because of the dates now. But also feel every given moment he has lied and now unable to believe anything he says. I’m pretty certain the relationship is just destined to fail
Missmee (original poster member #86349) posted at 10:49 AM on Friday, September 11th, 2026
Forgot to add he said we need a conversation about issues pre affair and not to make a decision on him having affair as the reason for the end of the relationship.
The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 12:23 PM on Friday, September 11th, 2026
RUN!!!
This guy refuses to take any responsibility for cheating.
Everything is your fault.
You don’t fight hard enough for him (he had the audacity to say that!? 
).
Too many red flags here but I think the last conversation tells you everything you need to know about your guy.
He’s emotionally immature and will continue to blame YOU FOR HIS DECISION TO CHEAT.
Please stop expecting anything more from him. IMO the last conversation tells you everything you need to know.
And to me, he’s not worth reconciling with as he believes he "is not to blame for his affair" — you are!
Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 12 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.
