SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Sorry if this is the wrong board, im just so devastated.

Short version WH had an EA last year with work colleague (i have posted on reconciling a few times since)

Since the reconciling decision was made in july, he has done nothing but disrespect me, which got worse, shown me he dosent value me, put her feelings first,continued to interact with ow in chats and started going on work socials with her present again , and caused numerous rows about going. Despite me feeling upset and not wanting him to go for obvious reasons. There has been many, many red flags since March time that hes still in touch with ow but he has denied. The whole situation has destroyed me emotionally and made me an insecure shell.

Fast forward to now hes now saying he wants to leave and cant cope with my child's mental health issues, and ive agreed theres no trust there at all and everything hes doing so its all screwed. 10 years down the drain due to him, a homewrecker and his behaviour. Am I right in thinking she will be waiting In the wings and it will all come out eventually and to prepare myself for it. He says theres no one else, they all say that!!! Im so devastated its come to this, at least I know i tried and am a good person, he dosent care 💔💔

He wants to stay friends and be there for me, he should have been there for me in the first place 💔

[This message edited by Kittycatkitty at 10:49 PM, Monday, June 1st]

He wants to stay friends and be there for me, he should have been there for me in the first place 💔

Yeah, mine said the same thing, and it's infuriating. We tried being friendly and having family night once a week for our kid until he decided to start dating, at which point I went no contact except for kid-related communication. It's all done to make them feel less terrible about themselves until they swing right back to being selfish.

In your case, yeah, be prepared for him to go running to her if she's available. Sounds like he's had one foot in, one foot out this whole time.

Is your child from a previous relationship? Will you have full custody going forward? Because a father who "can't cope" with his child's health problems (mental or otherwise) and uses that as a reason to run away is not a very good father. I think your child would be better off with you as the primary caregiver.

I'm sorry for your heartbreak. I can attest that there is peace on the other side of failed R, though.

So sorry KCK.

It’s so hard when the WS doesn’t have the character and fortitude to fix what they broke. It’s time to meet wtih a few lawyers and see what the next steps should look like, as painful as this will be.

Please focus on you and your kid. Things will get better. When you are away from his disrespect, you may find yourself more relaxed. No more eggshells, no more wondering what kind of mood he’ll be in. It takes time, but you will get better.

You don’t need to be friends with him. you may need to co-parent, but they are not the same thing.
Time to go LC/NC.

Keep posting. And hang in there.