SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Any advice? Recommendation/suggestions?
What not to do or do?

*sigh*

For almost a week now, I don't understand this feeling. I am not sure if because Dday is approaching!
All I can think everyday was the A and the AP.

It is annoying because no matter what I do, its just in my mind -- ruminationg all the shit they have done.

Almost a yr since Dday and I feel like we just had less than 10% of progress. Lately, I am getting tired and would like to give up. I don't think my WH would ever want to fix this relationship. He said he was trying but only when it comes to our children and sometime doing chores.

I asked him to leave for now because everytime I see him, my trigger gets worse and worse and worse and he doesn't know how to handle it so we are ending up arguing.

TBH, I really dont know anymore.
I am trying my best to focus on my healing and for my children but nothing seems to be working.
Sometimes, I feel like there is something wrong with me.
My mind is a mess! This trauma is beyond scary than I imagined.

I consider dday a "sentinel event" meaning it has the same type of weight as a death of a close loved one, a rape, or other similar type of event. For me, I started feeling strange about 4-6 weeks prior to the anti-versary.

For the first anti-versary of dday, I was able to take the day off. I had no expectations of getting anything done that day and didn't do anything. I was a crying, blubbering mess and spent most of the day curled up in a ball on my bed.

Second anti-versary, we were separated and on our way to D and the day fell on the weekend. Still, I'd been feeling down about 4-6 weeks prior. I set no expectations for the day. This time, I wasn't a crying, blubbering mess, but I did practice self-care and didn't do much.

I just watch how I'm feeling for about a month before & a month after. I sometimes do feel a little down, but nothing like in the early days.

Do practice self-care. If you want to stay in bed all day, that's fine. If you feel like going out to lunch with a friend or going to get a pedicure, do that. You do what you can to make it through the day, knowing that tomorrow is another day closer to healing.

Dday will be early sept for us.
But my 25th wedding anniversary is next week and I feel devastated....
Its going to be a long summer