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Advice needed on an coworker who may be cheating... possibly a lot

Topic is Sleeping.
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 iamjack (original poster member #80408) posted at 3:15 PM on Wednesday, April 17th, 2024

Hi,

Lately, an acquaintance (coworker mostly) had a problem with his android phone. Knowing I'm a kind of a tech repair guru (been helping a lot of coworkers), he came to me to help him recover his data, since he had no access to his files anymore. So he left me his phone for a few hours and I used forensic tools to get the data back from the phone. The crash also seemed to have made the micro sd card he left inside unreadable, so I then tried to fix it too.

As you may have guessed already, after the recovery, a folder popped up, with almost twenty subfolders that had girls names. I know I shouldn't have looked at those folders, but given my history with A, and as his current girlfriend is a very good friend of mine (let's call her Judy), I couldn't help but investigate.

So, inside these folders, as I expected, there were nude pictures and videos selfies of the girls, masturbating. Very graphic. He also was on some photos (but only a few). What's bothering me isn't the pictures themselves (heck, is suppose he can keep nudes as long as he doesn't post them online, if that's his thing) but the timestamps of the files & folders were concerning. According to them, many of the girls pictures & videos present in these folders where taken during his relationship with Judy (5+ years), so there's a very high probability he's been cheating on her a lot, and even to this day.

So I have two questions : 1/ Some girls have sent nudes of them only, but for like 4 years in a row (again, timestamps). Would a girl continue to send nude pictures of herself to an ex-lover if they weren't still hooking up ?

2/ How can I tell her ? DO I tell her ? What if these are old photos and the EXIF timestamps are wrong ? Should I risk ruining our friendship just because I feel he's cheating ?

Thanks

[This message edited by iamjack at 3:16 PM, Wednesday, April 17th]

posts: 92   ·   registered: Jul. 6th, 2022
id 8833781
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Bigger ( Attaché #8354) posted at 4:24 PM on Wednesday, April 17th, 2024

Quite the quandary...
There is the easy answer and that is you tell her. I had a friend who told me after my d-day that he knew she was cheating. The "had" being a clue on how I took that...

A more complex answer...
Is there any chance that these are "purchased" pics? OF or some comparable site? Is there any chance that the timestamps don’t reflect when taken, but maybe when copied to the phone?
Would you be comfortable talking to him about this?
What about just telling her what you saw and what you suspect – with the possible warning that timestamps could be from when copied rather than when created. If this is porn-from-the-past then he might experience embarrassment explaining his horde to his GF, but it could be explained.

"If, therefore, any be unhappy, let him remember that he is unhappy by reason of himself alone." Epictetus

posts: 12755   ·   registered: Sep. 29th, 2005
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 iamjack (original poster member #80408) posted at 4:42 PM on Wednesday, April 17th, 2024

Thank you.

Is there any chance that these are "purchased" pics? OF or some comparable site?

I had the same thought too. It could be. But as I was saying he also appears in some pictures, for some of the girls. Do OF do this ?

Is there any chance that the timestamps don’t reflect when taken, but maybe when copied to the phone?

There may be a slim chance on some files that don't have EXIF data, but EXIF aren't modified on a copy. Worst case scenario, they're deleted, but that is unlikely unless deliberate. So for the files with EXIF data, they have everything including phone brand and model, iso, time taken... very unlikely they're not genuine, but who knows...

Would you be comfortable talking to him about this?

I've seen him a couple times with Judy, but he's just been a coworker for a few months, so I don't know him well enough...

What about just telling her what you saw and what you suspect – with the possible warning that timestamps could be from when copied rather than when created. If this is porn-from-the-past then he might experience embarrassment explaining his horde to his GF, but it could be explained.

If it can be explained I'll be remembered as the guy that brought mischief into their couple...

posts: 92   ·   registered: Jul. 6th, 2022
id 8833795
Topic is Sleeping.
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