Topic is Sleeping.
Howcthappen (original poster member #80775) posted at 11:25 PM on Wednesday, November 8th, 2023
Did your WS feel cruel when they initiated NC? And did you think to yourself how in the world could you feel guilty about NC when in fact if you had a guilty bone in your body you wouldn’t have ever contacted the AP!
I’m getting upset just thinking about my husband saying in a therapy session that he felt like a bad person doing NC so abruptly but was able to cheat for 18 months!🤬
Three years since DdayNever gonna be the sameReconcilingThe sting is still present
SacredSoul33 ( member #83038) posted at 12:24 AM on Thursday, November 9th, 2023
YES. The cognitive dissonance is astounding, isn't it? 
My H thought it would be mean to ignore AP at work and wanted to go back to a cordial coworker relationship with her. He wanted to be able to say hello to her in the hallway, and wish her a happy birthday, and sing to her in the break room with everyone else. He wanted to be able to join group conversations that she was part of. We fought about it for days, until MC set him straight. I had already said the same thing, but once he heard from someone else that being so concerned about being nice to HER was being horrible to ME, he got it. (MC also told him that he can't treat her like any other coworker, because he didn't f*ck his other coworkers. I love sharing that little tidbit of excellence. 
)
Over the first year, he told me a few times about how bad he felt for getting involved with her only to hurt her and lead her on. I reminded him every time that she knew he was married from the git-go. Dumbass did this TO HERSELF.
Gasping for air while volunteering to give others CPR is not heroic.
Your nervous system will always choose a familiar hell over an unfamiliar heaven.
Topic is Sleeping.
