SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Do I ever feel out of the loop. Until last fall, I had no idea that this was a thing. Then I found out that a family member had been sent there as a teen, and was traumatized. When I asked about the facility, I was told it was the same one Paris Hilton went to (I think she was at more than one). So I did some digging into what this industry was. I found a Reddit group and have done a lot of reading. You can also find exposés to watch.

It's worse in some states than others. The really bad ones are in Utah because it's the only state where you can't discharge yourself or leave. They can hold you against your will. Facilities in other states threaten their residents saying, if you don't comply, we'll send you to Utah. But at least you can walk out of those facilities, although most of them are out in the middle-of-the-fuck nowhere and these kids have no idea where they are and how to get someone to help them. I don't know how the people who own these places (they're all for profit), much less the ones who work at them sleep at night.

It is absolutely devastating what happens in these places. Parents are lied to (as I'm sure they were for the family member who was sent there). Phone calls are monitored and if a kid starts to tell a parent how bad they're being treated, they will lose their phone privileges. And these places are still open, although Paris Hilton and her mom are working on legislation to shut them down.

Paris Hilton was on The View today. I have to say I never really held her in high regard, but now I see her in a different light, and applaud her for her activism.

I suspect that one of my nephews was sent to one twenty years ago; I know he was sent to a wilderness camp/school for drug and alcohol issues discovered in 8th grade. Actually throughout high school, he went to a few different schools away from home (got kicked out of a military academy for drinking).

Two of my sons have been to wilderness programs.

We could take him out at any time. We visited every month. We had plenty of opportunities to speak with him alone - hikes away from staff, etc. I only pray that it was helpful.

My oldest was there for a little over a year. He kept up with his schoolwork. Did his Eagle project and earned his Eagle Scout, and seemed to work on his "issues".

I don’t suppose that I will ever know for certain that he wasn’t mistreated. His complaints to us, were about the short, and sometimes cold showers, and the food being bad.

I have asked him on four or five occasions since that experience what he thought about it. If he thought it was detrimental to him, or if it helped. He has told me that he didn’t feel that it helped at the time, but now he sees some of the things that he learned, and some of the ways that it impacted his life years after he was out.

I have tormented myself about whether or not it was the right thing to do with both of my sons that went. I don’t guess I’ll ever know.