Topic is Sleeping.
Shehawk (original poster member #68741) posted at 8:07 AM on Wednesday, August 10th, 2022
I am wondering if people might be willing to share their experiences employing a forensic accountant?
What about a private digital investigator during the divorce? For stuff like lifestyle hidden from the court?
Just wondering about cost versus benefit etc
"It's a slow fade...when you give yourself away" so don't do it!
BluerThanBlue ( member #74855) posted at 1:54 PM on Wednesday, August 10th, 2022
If I recall correctly, WhoTheBleep hired a forensic accountant. She has posted here about her STBX’s gross financial malfeasance and seems pretty knowledgeable at this point on the subject; she would be my first choice for advice.
She’s in the thick of her divorce right now, so she hasn’t been on her often but maybe you can PM her.
BW, 40s
Divorced WH in 2015; now happily remarried
I edit my comments a lot for spelling, grammar, typos, etc.
Catwoman ( member #1330) posted at 2:51 PM on Wednesday, August 10th, 2022
Before I did this, I would research the laws of your jurisdiction to determine if it's going to be worth it. What does your attorney say? What are you trying to find/prove?
Money for a lifestyle has to come from somewhere. Unless he's self-employed, it may be less expensive to subpoena third party records from his employer.
I would discuss strategy with the attorney first.
Cat
FBS: Married 20 years, 2 daughters 27 and 24. Divorced by the grace of GOD.
D-Days: 2/23/93; 10/11/97; 3/5/03
Ex & OW Broke up 12-10
"An erection does not count as personal growth."
Alonelyagain ( member #32820) posted at 10:14 PM on Wednesday, August 10th, 2022
I hired the PI recommended by my divorce attorney and while it provided some insight to who my XWW truly was and what she was up to, none of that information was admissible or useful in my state, New Jersey. At the onset, the PI warned me that if he saw XWW or OM do anything illegal, he’d have to inform the police. I said I was good with that. From the late hours that XWW and OM kept, it was clear to me and the PI that they were doing drugs, mostly likely coke or speed, but my divorce attorney voiced doubts without any evidence. On several occasions, PI saw them get drunk at bar and OM drive them to his place. Despite PI’s initial claims, he refused to contemporaneously report this to the police despite knowing their destination and their route there. Ultimately, OM needed to be served with a copy of the divorce complaint because he was named in it as OM. PI went to serve him and his rented home was vacant and they couldn’t find him.
Shortly after my divorce was finalized, I started seeing a fairly well off doctor whose brother was a retired detective in the county sheriff office. She called me and told me where OM lived and that XWW and OM were doing large amounts of coke, and that I should obtain a sample of XWW’s hair for drug testing if I wanted to try for sole custody of my three kids. I didn’t ask her to do that and I think she was screening me as well as confirming what I had told her about my XWW and the reasons for our divorce. In short, a then gf was able to get more information than the fairly expensive PI.
As an aside, my PI was Donald Trump’s personal PI before he became President and PI was constantly trying to run up my bill by telling me Trump stories while on the clock and it became necessary for me to cut him off.
[This message edited by Alonelyagain at 10:09 PM, Thursday, August 11th]
Shehawk (original poster member #68741) posted at 3:31 AM on Thursday, August 11th, 2022
These are great insights! Thanks
"It's a slow fade...when you give yourself away" so don't do it!
Topic is Sleeping.
