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Newest Member: DCS72

Divorce/Separation :
Let the WW know

Topic is Sleeping.
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 Beagle (original poster member #79560) posted at 3:23 PM on Saturday, April 23rd, 2022

Last night after going out on a date I let my WW know that things just weren’t working for me anymore and that I wanted a legal seperation or a divorce. It was so hard to do because I really do love her and what I thought we had. If you read through my history you will see why I came to this conclusion

She has been so self absorbed though out this whole process and has been doing the minimum. It just sucks because although I know it’s the best decision for me it still hurts so badly. I love this woman so much but I just don’t feel the same and don’t want the patterns to keep repeating themselves. Any advice on how to get through this

Beagle

posts: 88   ·   registered: Nov. 3rd, 2021   ·   location: United States
id 8731437
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Dude67 ( member #75700) posted at 5:07 PM on Saturday, April 23rd, 2022

How did she reply?

posts: 785   ·   registered: Oct. 21st, 2020
id 8731452
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 Beagle (original poster member #79560) posted at 6:05 PM on Saturday, April 23rd, 2022

I’m she said is that what you want and am I sure and I said yes. She cried a bit and left the room for a bit and went back to bed. Today she said she doesn’t want to keep the house and went to look at a house that’s for sale. So fast. She doesn’t seem to care and I don’t know why it bothers me.

Beagle

posts: 88   ·   registered: Nov. 3rd, 2021   ·   location: United States
id 8731465
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morningglory ( member #80236) posted at 8:15 PM on Saturday, April 23rd, 2022

Her response is the perfect validation (not that you really needed any) that breaking up is the right thing to do. The cheating is one clear indicator that she's not in love with you. The too-quickly moving on is another.

Count your blessings that she's so easy to deal with, and start the divorce proceedings. I wish you all the best of luck with your new life, and hopefully, in time, a good future marriage with someone else who values monogamy.

[This message edited by morningglory at 8:16 PM, Saturday, April 23rd]

posts: 454   ·   registered: Apr. 15th, 2022
id 8731488
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The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 9:53 PM on Saturday, April 23rd, 2022

She went to look at a house for sale.

What in the hell?!?!!😡

She clearly only loves herself.

Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 11 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.

posts: 14273   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2017
id 8731501
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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 10:35 PM on Saturday, April 23rd, 2022

My WH was not remorseful, we were in false R. I finally had enough and pulled the plug. He did not fight for me. He did what I asked (and he was actually fair and accommodating, unlike some WS). It HURT that he did not fight. But that was his final true gift to me— he gave the path to healing. He made D as easy as it can be and mostly got out of my life.

I didn’t see it then, but it was the kindest thing he could do. I recall his sister telling him that if he loved me, then he needed to make this easy for me. Maybe he listened to her, maybe he didn’t give a fuck and just wanted out. Either way, it was the best thing for me.

It extinguished the hopium pipe. It let me start healing sooner and faster. It was truly a good gift.

So it hurts. But if this is what you what or need, then try to see it as the gift it is.

Hang in there.

Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 6240   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8731506
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 Beagle (original poster member #79560) posted at 3:28 AM on Sunday, April 24th, 2022

Thank you for that perspective.

Beagle

posts: 88   ·   registered: Nov. 3rd, 2021   ·   location: United States
id 8731556
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leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 4:56 AM on Sunday, April 24th, 2022

My experience was similar to BB. Very thankful to get rid of my XWH so easily, comparatively speaking.

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 4004   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8731568
Topic is Sleeping.
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