This Topic is Archived
betrayed 35 (original poster member #22169) posted at 2:36 PM on Monday, January 4th, 2021
I had been doing so much better... I was content with things and I am not sure what happened but I am so angry again. I know it’s a roller coaster of emotions and all that but I was feeling good. I am not sure if it was the holidays or what but I wake up and am just mad. Just wondering if anyone else has this going on. I can’t think of anything that happened or anything that changed... Well besides his poor parenting choices but I am used to that by now
I am just having this feeling of a bad year coming...
dday 1 9-8-08 2nd 12-22-19
40 yrs old
two boys 14 and 16
working on divorce
I want off the roller coaster...
BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 5:30 PM on Monday, January 4th, 2021
Some days are just that way. Sometimes triggers are hard to find— it’s just a bad day.
And it does not foretell a bad year. Take a little extra care of yourself, use your tools (self affirmation, exercise, call a friend, etc.) and accept that you are still processing some of this shit.
I remember telling my therapist I was unhappy when I had a really bad sadness relapse when my pet died. I thought I should be able to handle it better, that I wanted to be that shiny unicorn that emerges and gallops off leaving my WH behind. He reminded me that the trauma takes time to fully process - -sometimes it just bubbles up. But as long as I move through it faster, then I am still healing. And maybe I won’t be the unicorn that gets over him in record time, but who I am becoming is still to be determined, and may just be more amazing.
(((Hugs))).
Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)
**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **
crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 5:39 PM on Monday, January 4th, 2021
I too am struggling with feeling angry at STBX. I don’t know if it was the holidays but I’m there too. I am angry that I have to split my time with the kids with this man. I despise him and I don’t have any good thoughts about him. While I am happy to be away from him I’m angry at all the trauma he caused me. The fact that he already knew I had childhood trauma and the went ahead and caused me more trauma and is trying to place the blame on me. Yeah I’m mad.
fBS/fWS(me):52 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:55 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(22) DS(19)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Separated 9/2019; Divorced 8/2024
betrayed 35 (original poster member #22169) posted at 5:53 PM on Monday, January 4th, 2021
Crazyblindsided
I feel exactly the same. He is the one who has caused all this pain and I am the one alone. He gets to play house with the OW and my kids have no choice.
It helps to know others feel the same hatred and anger...
dday 1 9-8-08 2nd 12-22-19
40 yrs old
two boys 14 and 16
working on divorce
I want off the roller coaster...
betrayed 35 (original poster member #22169) posted at 6:56 PM on Monday, January 4th, 2021
Barelybreathing
Soo true. We will become even more amazing for all that we are going through.
I agree. Sometimes I have lost focus and I need to refocus and get back on track. Thanks!
dday 1 9-8-08 2nd 12-22-19
40 yrs old
two boys 14 and 16
working on divorce
I want off the roller coaster...
This Topic is Archived
