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I had to talk to my estranged husband about some issues this weekend. We’ve been separated for three and a half years since I caught him in a four year affair.

We were standing in a parking lot and talking about steps to move ahead. Without planning to or even really thinking about it I said, “I forgive you.” I realized that I meant it too.

I finally get that what he did was about his screwed up coping mechanisms. He is not evil, just weaker than I ever realized. I feel bad for him but not in a responsible way.

I felt such a rush of relief saying it and I know it was what I needed to do. I know he will continue to piss me off as we clean up the wreckage of what was once our family, but I think I will be able to effectively coparent and at least try to work together. I hope he can do the same.

🙂 healing is beautiful and healthy. So happy you reached this milestone, MeOh.

I've been saying the words to myself, the mirror, and out loud to the wall for almost three years. I've been reading about forgiveness and what it means. But, the feelings of resentment keep rearing their head every time I hear she bought a new house, bought a new car, bought a time share, yet didn't fulfill some decree obligation, or just wasn't kind to our young adult children.

I'm looking forward to the day I can say, "I forgive you" and have it come from the depth of my soul.

Thanks for sharing

I can forgive her for her cheating.

But I don't think I can ever forgive her for the horrible, horrible things she did to our daughter. Her own flesh and blood, emotionally abused in the name of my ex's narcissistic and fragile ego.

That's a big step, MeOh.

I think I'm there sometimes and then I find another reserve of anger under a rock inside my psyche.