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Not sure what to think...

Terrain posted 8/15/2020 06:11 AM

October we will be 2 years out from confession day, (that is what I like to call it). Weíve worked hard the last 2 years, there have been good times and hard times as we both are still processing everything.

I still check in and read posts, I donít comment as most of the time I have nothing new to add to conversations that are taking place. There is a ton of great wisdom here and I appreciate it.

We always talk on the phone on his way home from work. Last night he asked me to him off speaker, he had some news.
OW has been fired from work. (They work for the same company, but different locations).

Apparently she sexually harassed another male in the company, that is what the rumor was. I guess she just quit showing up for work with no notice. He told me he checked her IM, and it said she was last active 40 days ago so she really must be gone. He thought it was important that I know and also know that he checked her IM and that people at work today were talking/gossiping about her. (He still thinks no one knows he slept with her, I maintain they know and just donít talk about it around him.)

Iím happy to know that she is no longer there and that I wonít have to worry about either one of them having to float to each otherís office. (He had made arrangements with HR not to be floated to her office as it is is small and only a few people work there, but I still worried they would send him there) But itís also brought up a lot of emotions that I am still sorting out.
We havenít talked in person yet as we are dealing with our young children who are about to experience the loss of the their first pet.

I know Iím happy sheís not working for the same company
any longer.I know Iím a hurt that he almost threw away our family over her. I hate that once again, Iím thinking about it.,
it kept me awake. Iím grateful that we have become closer and have new communication skills and will talk through this in person hopefully later today. Itís all still very hard.

We were supposed to have date night tonight but with the dog and the kids, Iím sure we will push it to next weekend.

Thanks for listening and letting me sort out my thoughts. It does help writing it down.

Want2BHappyAgain posted 8/15/2020 08:12 AM

Hi Terrain !!! It's good to see you on here again...and even better to know that you haven't needed this place in a while .

Our brains are amazing protectors for us...but sometimes it is to our detriment. The best thing you could do is exactly what you did...write things out!!! You have acknowledged the situation...processed it...and now you will be able to move forward with it . These are pretty good coping skills!!

It is so nice that your H built up more trust for you by informing you the way he did too . Our "lizard brain" can only learn from experiences we have...and this is a great experience to calm down that part of your brain .

sisoon posted 8/15/2020 10:53 AM

If I understand the timing correctly, his telling you is a good sign for R. You might have a good evening together.

Let us know how your face-to-face contact goes. I hope it's top notch.

Terrain posted 8/15/2020 21:19 PM

Hubby and I finally had a chance to talk alone without the kids. We took a long drive to pick up take out and had a great conversation.

I did share with him that hearing about her kind of stirred up emotions for me as the news caught me by surprise. But that I was extremely grateful he told me and that she is no longer working for the same company. I am grateful I donít have to think about it any longer.

He has been open about everything since he first confessed and I continue to see his work and support for me and our family. Although I donít enjoy counseling, he has encouraged us to continue both mc and ic and I admit it helps. Although we only go every couple of months.

We do have a much better communication and we are both stronger than we were prior to his ONS. Weíve both put in the work and I am happy.

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