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Sucker punched, embarrassed & ashamed.

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Blindsided2425 posted 8/11/2020 13:41 PM

I hired a lawyer, one of the best in Toronto, costly but I had no choice. She advised me that for right now do nothing around the AP, no contact with the cheater. She told me what I already know, that this is trauma, I’m not thinking straight etc. Said from now on The Lawyer does the thinking and talking.
Also told me she wasn’t going to waste my money and if it gets to that point she’ll tell me.
So she fired off a letter on Friday, said let her have a stressful weekend for once. If we don’t come to a deal m, the house proceeds will be put in trust till a decision is made.
I heard from a woman who was acting as a go between that my WW was inconsolable after receiving the letter and was screaming, “he’s trying to make my children homeless”
Our friend told her I wasn’t, if she honoured the deal the three of us agreed on before the house sold, this wouldn’t be happening.
She has 10 days to respond, haven’t heard anything as of yet, other than her crazy ass mom has come up for support.
Haven’t had anything to report back on so staying quiet.
It still hurts. We had a 12 yr age gap, I liked that because I knew I wouldn’t outlive her and have to spend one day without her. That all went for shit lol

Wanttobebetter posted 8/11/2020 14:22 PM

Excellent move and take back control of the situation. Best of luck on your way forward and stay strong.

fareast posted 8/11/2020 16:27 PM

Listen to your attorney. Stay no contact. And do things for you to get stronger and heal.

Westway posted 8/12/2020 09:47 AM

Let every one of her behaviors and actions reinforce the proof that getting her out of your life is the best possible move. We live in an age where amoral narcissists stalk the world, and your WW is one of them.

ShutterHappy posted 8/12/2020 10:53 AM

Blindsided2425,

I was about to suggest to not contact the OBS for now, but your lawyer beat me to it.

Focus on your objective, and your objective is to get out of infidelity through Divorce.

Keep contact with your STBXWW to a minimum. Each time you communicate to her, do it in writing.

Pretend all the text your write will be read by a juge.

Talk to your lawyer about the RESP.

Whatever your STBXWW agreed verbally has no value. Your lawyer will setup the real agreement.

Once you sign a separation agreement, go talk to the OBS. tell everyone about her cheating.

Stop worrying about what your STBXWW say, do or think. She’s a very unstable person and whatever she says or do will make no sense and has no value.

But for now, your only objective is to get your separation agreement and eventually D.

Blindsided2425 posted 8/12/2020 13:50 PM

Yep......have had NC except through a third party for almost a month. I don’t need that level of crazy in my life

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