IaT,
I'm right there with you, so you are not alone.
I threw away my marriage for a gutter dweller, etc. About as low class a person as you could imagine.
Upon introspection (where was that 5 years ago?) I'm revolted at myself, and my actions. I cringe when I think about my AP, it was heinous what I did to my wife. My wife had/has low self esteem, and in my unlimited stupidity, picked someone who was a stripper, because she was the opposite of my wife. All that glitters is not gold. Glitter was just covering trash.
Regarding inner beauty, which is what truly matters for the worth of a person, my wife is incomparable. I do not deserve her, and am always grateful for her and remind her, just not as often as I should. Her grace speaks volumes, even though I ruined her, I still wake up every morning reach over and feel her next to me, and am thankful.
The AP is the ugliest person I have encountered in my messed up life, and lacks any hint of integrity, yet there I was 5 years ago, in a WH fog, unable to see what was beneath.
Vent heard, thank you posting.
Me: WH 59 I lied to cover up my deceit. Her: BW 40's at D-day [BlueIris]M 26 years | 3 great kids
"A coward dies a thousand times before his death, but the valiant taste of death but once. - Shakespeare