forgettableDad posted 12/25/2019 18:07 PM

Telling the truth is the hardest thing I do. I could go into details as to why but it doesn't matter.

The reality is; every time I get to a point where I need to choose between a lie and the truth I stumble. It feels as though the truth is a line not far from me and I'm strapped to a giant boulder, trying to drag it one step at a time towards the truth. I never reached that line for many years...

But. And this is a big but . Every time I cross it now. The boulder is reduced and the next journey becomes easier.

So to anyone who reads this - especially myself because I lurk here A LOT - cross that line. It's hard and potentially devastating but worth it. And the next time will be easier.

cptprkchp posted 12/25/2019 19:50 PM

Thank you for your post.

I made the decision to practice “radical honesty” because lying used to be automatic for me. Radical honesty can be horrible but I had to do it to break myself of lying being second nature to me. Along with that, I learned to pause. When I pause I can think my answer through. I really hope that your post can convince any new WS’s to just tell the truth no matter what because it’s not usually the affair that ends the marriage- it’s the lies.

ChanceAtLife35 posted 12/26/2019 22:09 PM

Good to hear you are making progress to practicing radical honesty. I can relate as i have been lying since childhood. Telling a lie not only destroys you as a person, but destroys any chance of getting better, saving your relationship, or building anything positive with anyone. cptprkchp, my BW told me that exact same thing. Just shows how it will lead to the end quicker than a new beginning. Before i think a lie is going to come out, i think of how it is going to impact the other person, go against i believe in, and continue the vicious cycle i have been in my entire life.