Return to Forum List

Return to New Beginnings

SurvivingInfidelity.com® > New Beginnings

You are not logged in. Login here or register.

So the AP has approached me...

lifesPrettyGood7 posted 11/30/2019 18:37 PM

So as a background story Ex wayward Wife and I were married just 2 months in before I found she cheated on me. We were in a 2 year long engagement because of our financial constraints so we had held off the wedding for awhile. We later realized it was pretty dumb to delay marriage for the wedding so we had legal proceedings done ahead of time.
So long story short when I came home early from work I found her at home with another guy. Luckily I didn't walk into something too indecent but it was pretty obvious and the AP wasn't trying to hide it. I held out on divorce (my fault) because of our lease and because I was too embarrassed to divorce just 2 months after marriage.

So it's been about 3 years since we divorced, I'm in a good steady relationship with someone else. I've heard bits and pieces from different people regarding my ex but I went nc really quickly after the ordeal so she was mostly lost to me.

So when the AP approached just last week it was a lot to unload in just the 3 years. So this guy was a short term co worker of mine, he was pretty upstanding so I guess I've forgiven him. He was very upfront about everything. He claimed my ex had manipulated him into thinking we were already pretty split up and that I had coerced her into marriage. He had felt suspicious and uncomfortable when she invited him over to our marital home but he feigned ignorance.

So why is this guy unloading all this to me now? Well apparently this guy had planned on ditching my ex wife shortly after they got caught. But apparently she got pregnant during the last month we were living in the same house. He thinks she didn't take her pills on purpose so he can't leave her. I think she just forgot, she was never really responsible. Her family is very conservative and she wouldn't risk them knowing about her affair. Either way apparently no one around them aside from my ex wife's immediate family knows about their relationship.

So I guess he realized I'm the only one who might not like my ex very much and know about their affair at the same time. He'd told me she got fired for missing way too many morning shifts at work and refused to find employment to be a SAHM after a year she gave birth. She apparently doesn't even take care of the house or kid: her mom does. They had gotten into an irreparable fight when he came clean to my ex's mom who refused to believe her daughter cheated. Ex wife found out and tore into the poor guy. She manipulated him saying he's causing drama for no reason and that it was cruel to do this to someone who was the mother of their child . She's also extremely pissed because the AP refused to have her move into his house after our lease ran out. Right now my ex and her mom lives with him.

I think he's talking to me to pave the way to a break up and to clean his hands of this whole thing. I bid him good luck, agreed my ex is a low value partner, and to do what he thinks is healthy. I hope their kid doesn't suffer but AP really isn't the kind of guy to be cruel.

After all these years of focusing on the fact that she came with drama and the infidelity without an ounce of remorse, really destroyed my fondness of our memories and the importance of her existence in my life.

Thanks for leaving me so I can go on vacations with my sweet girlfriend


Sorry if I seem kind of immature in this post, I'm just really over it and my conversation with the AP seemed to make my initial trauma seem so illogical.

landclark posted 11/30/2019 19:25 PM

I think we’re entitled to be a bit immature when we find out the lives of the people who betrayed us sucks. I just feel bad for their kid.

Adlham posted 11/30/2019 19:41 PM

Having been contacted by some of my ex's girlfriends over the years, I just wanted you to know that you ardnt the only one who has felt a little vindication!

I like to think of those as wins. Like you, I too feel very thankful that I have moved on to a much, much better person!

Isn't it a great feeling to know that your ex is no longer your circus problem?

Congratulations to you!

Return to Forum List

Return to New Beginnings

© 2002-2020 SurvivingInfidelity.com ®. All Rights Reserved.     Privacy Policy