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Aging and authenticity

cdagal posted 9/24/2018 20:11 PM

I recently turned 59. Itís turned out to be a wonderful new beginning. Iím 8 years out from Dday and almost 7 years divorced. I have chosen not to be in any serious relationship during this time. I continue to live alone in my very comfortable condo. I retired last year so am no longer defined in any way by what i do for a living. I was happy, content. But there was always something wanting. Iíve now found it. I decided to let my grey hair come in naturally. I had resisted this for many years thinking that it would affect my position at work and my date-ability - that i would ďlook my ageĒ What it has done instead has been to free me from the prism of our youth-obsessed culture. It has allowed me to enjoy sex in full daylight, to relish in this awesome aging body of mine and to allow another to enjoy it as well. I have never felt so comfortable in my skin. I can truly say that i am in a love affair - with myself! There is something to be said for finding your authentic self. I found it through grey hairs. However you find it, itís a wonderful thing.

WhoTheBleep posted 9/24/2018 20:27 PM

Wow! Go you! Thanks for this post, and glad you are so happy!!

Newlease posted 9/25/2018 08:50 AM

I will be 58 in December. I still color my hair for a few reasons, one of which is that I don't want to be seen as "old" at my office. I long for the freedom you are describing.


BrokenheartedUK posted 9/25/2018 11:04 AM

I'll be 54 next month!! Weirdly, I don't have much in the way of gray hair but I have noticed the odd one coming in... Finally!! Aging body...check...good sex life...check...feeling authentic...check!! Go you!

FaithFool posted 9/25/2018 11:47 AM

I broke up with Lady Clairol over 25 years ago and never looked back.

I've had plenty of compliments from young women on my long salt-n-pepper hair.

OTOH the pressure to look young in the workplace is very real, I've had countless job interviews where I've experienced the "elder recoil" from at least one younger woman on the hiring panel. It's very real and I was always waiting for that look on their face like there's a bad smell in the room.

Then there was the one interview where they didn't have that bias and they hired me based on skills and experience. That was pretty awesome. I go back to work for those folks in November as my post-retirement part time gig. Never say never.

[This message edited by FaithFool at 11:47 AM, September 25th (Tuesday)]

HappyTree posted 9/25/2018 12:32 PM

Hey, I'm 36 and this summer I was dating a 34 year old. I loved his "salt and pepper" hair. I still do. I found it super sexy.

When I'm old with grey hair, I want to wear it in two braids. I love that look.

TrustGone posted 9/27/2018 16:05 PM

I am with you. I will be 56 next month and only have a few grey hairs here and there. I have a bottle of color under the bathroom cabinet that has been there for months and I haven't touched it. My new husband is totally grey but shaves his head due to lack of hair on top. He thinks I am great just the way I am. No more getting up earlier to brush my hair and put on make-up like I did for years with my XWH's. There is something totally freeing about that. I still put on a little make-up when going somewhere, but not like I once did. Other than the pains that come with being older, I think old age does make us more authentic. I am so glad to know someone else feels the same.

Phoenix1 posted 9/27/2018 16:39 PM

I started greying prematurely - early 30s. Been coloring my hair ever since because, alas, ageism is truly a thing in the workplace. It is just a routine for me now so no big deal. My face actually looks much younger than my years (or so I get told regularly by different people anyway) so I am not thrilled with the idea of having my hair detract from that one genetic bonus.

My oldest DD is starting to see some random grey hairs coming in (she just turned 27) so she is experiencing the same early greying. She shrieks to high heaven to me about it on a regular basis, and blames me of course. I just tell her, "Welcome to my world!" She's blonde though so it is much less noticeable. I am a dark brown naturally, so my greys stick out like a freaking neon light!

Gemini71 posted 9/27/2018 21:58 PM

I'm 47 and have some Elvira stripes going at my temples. I have occasionally colored my hair...BLUE...or AQUA! It looks super cool and bright on the grey. Unfortunately I'm in the middle of a job search so I have to look professional now, so back to brunette I go. (sigh)

dancingmom66 posted 9/28/2018 18:46 PM

I am 52 and stopped coloring my hair in March of this year. I am a brunette, so I got blond highlights to ease the transition.

I would start to see gray at my hairline within 2 weeks of a color. I love not having to worry about getting into the salon. My SO loves it. He was the one that encouraged me to do it.

For me, it is not so much about authenticity as it is about ease. I refuse to throw away my lipstick.

staystrong101 posted 9/28/2018 22:23 PM

Beautiful post, thanks for sharing!

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